'Cause this is your night, so smile, 'cause you'll go out in style-♥

I made a new Buzznet!

I'll be back on and writing and everything ASAP!

AutumnLynnxLovely

ADD ME!

Also,

My AIM: AutumnxOddityxo
Yahoo IM: metronomexmemory@yahoo.com
MSN IM: wakexthexdead@live.com

Myspace: myspace.com/nightmarishxlies
Twitter: twitter.com/autumnlynnxlove

ADD ANYOF THOSE
BUT ESPECIALLY MY BUZZNET!
I'VE MISSED Y'ALL!

Okay so.

I wouldn't have been able to come to RBL if it wasn't for my SLH besties!
THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH! Nicole, SLH Kelsey, and Cheyenne. Seriously!!!
Nicole for buying my ticket, Kelsey for giving me a ride and Chey for giving me a place to stay!

Soo.
I was in total disbelief all day so some of this is kinda fuzzy. Hahah.

Kelsey and her friend got to my house at like 1:30ish I think...maybe 2...hard to remember. And we got in Austin and at their hotel around an hour later, and from there we walked to the Frank Erwin Center. It was a short walk.

We got there, got lost in the barren desert circle that is the Frank Erwin center, found the line and Nicole, Megan, non-SLH Kelsey, Hailey and Corrie(who were all three from BJT last month) were all there and I said hi and got hugs and stuff.

Nicole gave me my ticket and I checked where my seats were- good seats!! I was even more excited then!

After a while the Northern Downpour kids got put into a diff. line. So Nicole went up in line with non-SLH Kelsey, Hailey and Corrie. It was Corrie's 13th bday!

But I went up in line with Nicole and all and they were talking to Panic's bodyguard, Zack. And he was telling Corrie and Hailey to answer this question, idk why though.
Zack: What was Brendon Urie's first car?
And they named his first car he bought after he had monies. And I was like "OH OHMYJEEZ I KNOW THIS." And I kinda mumbled "A purple minivan...it looked like a jellybean..."
And Zack gave me this look and then told them that they were wrong and I was like "WAS I RIGHT?" And Zack said "Yep."
And Nicole was like "You should give her a meet and greet!"
And for like 5 seconds my heart stopped. And I was like "Whaat?"

That was what the question was for. O_O
And it went on like that for a bit, all of us trying to get m&g. And Hailey and Nicole were both like "Let Autumn in!" And I was just kinda frozen.
And Hailey even "bribed" him with gummy worms. xDD

Then Zack was like "Okay, fine, if you can answer this question right, you can go."
And I started babbling, idek what I was saying. xDD
And Zack told me to shut up 'cause I sounded creepy so I did. lmao then he talked about my "punishment" if I got it wrong, hahah then he said,
"On the last tour before Honda Civic..." "Nothing Rhymes With Circus?" "Yeah, the Nothing Rhymes With Circus Tour...there's one word in the English Dictionary that rhymes with circus. What is it?"
And like it felt like everything just shattered right there. Because out of everything I know, I didn't know that.
And Hailey was like "AH I KNOW THAT!"
And I was so close to tears and I said "Out of everything, I don't fucking know it."
And Zack was like "What is it?" To Hailey, and she said
"Burkas. It's a type of arabic clothing for women." Or something like that...
And I was like "FUCK. I knew that! I knew that!" And started crying just a little. I was trying not to.
And they were like "You should still let her go! Let her go!" And stuff and omg I was so grateful.

And Zack was like "Alright, you can go."
And I stood there for like a split second in disbelief, then broke down. Omg I was sobbing sooo hard, I felt like I'd never cried so hard in my life. I was hugging Nicole and Hailey and Corrie and everyone and just sobbing. I said Thank you to them all like 6897466465 times.

Then Zack chose this other girl to come to "Keep me from crying". Zack may come off as a smartass and mean sometimes but honestly, he's just really blunt. But he's soo nice, he really is. Anyone who ever says he is an asshole, I will punch.

And so we went to the m&g line with me still sobbing like an idiot andd non-SLH Kelsey was like "OMG YOU GOT A MEET AND GREET?!" and hugged me and I was like "YES!"

And I called my mom sobbing and told her I got to meet them.

I calmed down after a while, but I had to take my inhaler. And after all that...my makeup was still in tact. XDD

Then we were being let into the meet and greet.

Then we went into the room and there were SO many rules.

Zack listed them all-
No hugs (because Northern Downpour Fangirls, aka NDF, never let go)
No Handshakes (NDF never let go)
No hands-behind-the-boys's-backs in the pics (NDF liked squeezing Bren's applebottom and Ry's buns of steel lmfao)
No giving food (Rabid NDF baked her hair into cookies once)
Try to contain yourself and refrain from crying (and at that Zack walked over and put his hand on my shoulder and gave me a little shake)
No making the boys use YOUR sharpies (because ND guy tried to put a needle into a sharpie and make the guys use it)
Try to remember they ARE humans (Because NDF cannot seem to understand that.)

And the list went on.

I swear, 90% of all of ND are fangirls.
The few who aren't- I salute you.

Zack said the boys would be coming in, in a few minutes, but "Behind that wall, they're eating" AND SOME OF THE GIRLS PUT THEIR EARS TO THE WALL. I mean some were joking. BUT A LOT WERE SERIOUS.
I was like "Oh jeez. Oooh Brendon Urie's CHEWING! -rolls eyes-"
And Zack started joking about how fangirls are with stuff like that.

Then the boys came in and when Spencer was walking by I was like "Hey man!" And he smiled and said hi.

They sat at the table and everyone was getting stuff signed.
I was 4th.
First was Spencer. He has gorgeous blue eyes and he made me feel comfortable 'cause he's very easy to talk to.
Me: Hey!
Spencer: Hi!
Me: So uh, can you sign my bag? Sorry there's so much stuff in here...uh, I wasn't expecting to like, be in the meet and greet.
Spencer: Oh no, it's fine! -signs bag-
Me: Thanks!
Spencer: No problem, I hope you enjoy the show!
Me: I will...thanks!

Spencer passed my bag to Ryan.
And I was blushing, and I was nervous. Ryan kinda half-smiled at me and his eyes are like...woah. So pretty. Like, I dnw to sound like one of the creepy fangirls, but the pics lately do him no justice, he honestly is such a pretty guy.
Ryan: -starts to sign my bag-
Me: Ryan!
Ryan: -looks up- Hm?
Me: Uhm...uh...you're kinda my..my hero.
Ryan: Oh...really? -short pause- Thanks. I...really hope I can live up to that for you. (And he gave me the sweetest smile. He seemed so genuine. I mean idgi, why people think he's a jerk. He's just quiet and mellow is all. And maybe a bit shy.
Me: Thank you...so much.
Ryan: -sweet smile- Enjoy the show.
Me: I definitely will.

Ryan passed the bag to Jon, who immediately put me at ease. Jon's a very easy to talk to person, he reminds me of Butcher from TAI.
Jon: Hey!
Me: Hi! How's it going dude?
Jon: It's going great! What about yourself?
Me: Pretty much amazing. This has been a surreal day!
Jon: Glad to hear it! -big smile while he's signing my bag- you have fun at the show tonight!
Me: Oh I definitely will. Thank you so much.
Jon: No problem!

Jon passed the bag to Brendon, who was still talking to Shay. Bren gave me this odd feeling. Like...not welcome.
Me: Hi!
Brendon: -no response. Signs back and moves it towards me-
Me: ...I like your shirt...
Bren: -doesn't even look up, nudges bag more-
Me: ...okay...thanks. -takes bag and walks away.-

Theeen it's picture time!

The table is moved and the boys stand up, and I'm 4th in line again.

When it's my turn I go to go between Bren and Ry, but Spencer moves to the side and looks at me and beckons to in-between him and Ryan and is like "Over here!"
So I'm like "Oh okay!" And I stand between him and Ryan. And Ryan's arms goes kinda around my shoulders but his hand is on Spencer's shoulder, and Spencer's arms in around my waist and almost on my ass. o_O

Zack took the pic and I tell the boys thanks and go to look, and Zack was like "It's so dark...is there a setting to make it lighter?"
Me: Oh yeah, totally! Hm...self-portrait works best...
Zack: Okay, we'll use that and get you a better picture.
Me: Thanks so much!

I go back between Ry and Spence, and positions are switched- Spencer's arm in around my shoulders, and Ryan's arm is kinda around my waist and a bit too close to my ass. o_o;;
It was like a bit odd...

But the pic was amazing and I was like "Thank you guys!"

And all too soon it was over and as the boys were leaving I gave them all high fives and said bye, they all said it back EXCEPT BRENDON. Grr. I didn't do anything him...

And on the way out I gave Zack a highfive too and told him thanks soo much again, he just laughed and I aid "I'm proud of myself! I didn't cry!" And Zack was like "Good for you!" But not sarcastically at all lol.

And I have seats but I walk out and into the pit. o_O
No one ticketed me so I go into the crowd and as far up as I can get.

I made some friends, and this short azn chick reminded me of Bre, she was superly cool. xD

Then...
THE CAB!!
It was fun.
They're AMAZING live.
Sooo energetic, I couldn't sit still!
Plus they played 2 of my three favorites- Can You Keep a Secret? and Bounce! I wishhh they would aplayed my number one favorite, Take My Hand, but oh well.
It was great. I fucking love them, and their set ended all too soon.

I made my way up a bit and then was partially behind this HUGE guy who was violent. o_o;;
He was just protecting his friends though, he turned out to be pretty cool.

Then...PLAIN WHITE T'S!
I looooved their set more this time than last.
And I saw them at the same place a year ago. Hahah with Fall Out Boy.
They've improved a lot live, and are much more energetic and involve the crowd quite a bit.
Plus the new songs are like WOW.
And they performed Friends Don't Let Friends Dial Drunk, which is my faaave! WOO.

And by the end of that I realised I had this weird amount of space, and turned around and these two dudes were behind me, trying to keep as much room as they could between themselves and the girls.

So I talked tothem, they were trying to be respectful and not be pressed up against the girls- especially not the underage ones. They were hilarious too, 'cause after PWT's there was an onstage Rockband competition and they kept yelling really funny things.

I made my way up a bit more and by the time Dashboard was fixing to go on I was 2 and a half people from barricade, and these girls said they were leaving after Dashboard and I could have their spots and that'd make me one person from barricade!
I was so grateful.

DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL.
I've never really listened but they're great live. Nice energy, catchy, etc.
I should listen to them now, 'cause I really liked their set.
Plus with the help of The Cab and some of Plain White T's they covered that one Pink song, the one that's all "Nananana nanana, I'm gonna start a fight"
It was hilarious and good!

Then Dashboard ended and another Rockband Competition started.
And the girls moved so I was one person from barricade and behind this pretty tiny bitch of a girl who kicked me when I got shoved into her, and rolled her eyes when I apologized. I wanted to punch her.

Then...PANIC AT THE DISCO!!
I was sooooo close omg.
The set was AMAZING. It was wonderful. Unbelievable.
I got amazingly awesomely like wow pictures.
I got great videos!
Jon noticed me, I waved and he waved back and I smiled, then he smiled.
I got Ryan to notice me(I think) during But It's Better If You Do, 'cause I was dancing, and I looked up and he was looking in the part of the crowd I was in so I waved, made a peace sign and grinned like a dumbass and he did a half wave from his guitar and smiled. Plus I got a pic where it LOOKS like he's looking at my camera!
The set was just WOW though and I'm proud of my vids and pics. LOL I got a vid around the end when Brendon was demonstrating dancing and stuff, lolol so funny.

The set ended much much much too soon.
I wanted it to be so much longer.

But I found Nicole and Kelsey and Megan and Corrie and Hailey really soon and really easily, then I went to merch and ran into Chey and Roxanne and their little sis and their mom, plus SLH Kelsey and her friend.

I got a 'Reinvent Love' shirt.

Then we all wandered ove rto The Cab's van and...SINGER WAS THERE!

He recognized Chey and Roxy!
It was funny, Roxy was talking and she didn't notice, but Singer was like edging towards her with his arm out, trying to give her a hug, and when she noticed she was like OH.
Lol he asked Chey and Roxy both for hugs.
And Singer is SO skinny and a lot shorter than I expected.
He was too sweet, lol I took SLH Kelsey's pic for her and accidentally took a vid, and Nicole took my pic but almost took a vid.
Singer like laid his head on mine. xD He's such a sweetie.

Then Nicole and everyone was all going to this vegan place to eat and I wa sstaying with Chey and so I hugged everyone and said thanks and said bye.

And I saw Zack and told him thanks again.

And Chey and Roxy and I just hung out for a while. And after a looong time Tom from PWT's was walking by and we went over.

And he was drunk or something. xD
In my pic he like had his hand on my shoulderblade but like pulled me closer and kinda angled himself toward me, it was odd. Then I asked for a hug and he gave me a supertight, long hug and he rubbed my back and patted my back.
He pulled Chey closer too. xD
Tom, you're a creepster sometimes dude.

But we left not too long after that, I stayed the night at Chey's house.

The night was so incredibly fun, and none of that would have happened without you guys!
TYSFM NICOLE AND CHEYENNE AND KELSEY AND KELSEY AND CORRIE AND HAILEY AND EVERYONE.
ILY ALL SFM.

So you guys I have a lot to update in, say, the next couple hours.

See I have had no time to be on here so OMG.

so much.

soyeah

posting a few journals in a couple hours!!
And some pics.
Maybe vids.

Because...guess what I did?
I met this little band that means the world for me...the band that grace my first fanfic...the band called;
PANIC AT THE DISCO!!!! =DDDDD

I got signed out 10:15-ish from school and we left for Austin like 11:30-ish, getting there around onepm or so. 8th in line. I met a bunch of people and talked and it was sooo fun.


Jack comes around, we talk, and Mama gets a pic with him. Lol it was cool.

William Beckett walked out of the bus and I was told as soon as I saw him my face went bright red, gaaah I love that man. Idc if he's 23. I have the biggest crush on him.

But the guys were walking around and it was all cool.

Then this cool chick Kelsey got in line behind me and me and her talked lots, she's super cool.

And I had to pee rly fucking bads so me and Kelsey wandered off to Stubbs where the closest bathroom was and on the way back we heard fire trucks and Kelsey said, "Woah I hope nothing happened to The Academy Is...!"
Andlike we walk back and my mom and Dallas met Chiz and said he ALMOST got hit by the firetruck. I was like OMG SHIT.

So not long later Danny from WTK is walking around, I was like "Can I have a picture?" He's sooo sweet and adorable! And gives okay hugs.

Then Sisky walks off the bus and heads some random direction. Then he comes back and Dallas and Mama get pics with him, he was nice and Dallas has such a crush on him.
xDD
Then comes Hunter from WTK, he's niceee and I like him, but my pic with him looks scary. Hahah.

And by then Nicole and Megan are there and they had their dog Whiskey and Jack met Whiskey and the dog shit on the ground and Jack was like "Thaaat's disgusting." lmao it was so funny.

Then Jack was busy and these SLH girls wanted a pic with him but he didn't have time atm and they were pissed and were like "Fucking asshole. Jack? More like Jack-off." I was like WTF.

Then my mom went back to the car and on her way back apparently ran into Travis from WTK.

Dallas noticed before me and ran off and I freaked.

And Nicole said "TRAVIS!"
And I said, "NO! DALLAS!"
And she said, "NO, Travis is there!"
So we ran over and Dallas and Mama got a pic with him but I didn't, he was with his gf and kinda busy so yeah.

We all hang out for a while, see people, talk. There's the group of us far up in the line who are all close andr friends now, it was so cool.
Then Cheyenne came and I was like "EEEEH! -hug-" lmao
And we just all hung out for a while, it was a lot of fun. And Amber showed up too so it was just beyond cool, seriously.

Then Jack comes and tells SLH where to go for EE/M&G stuff
And we went there, went in like 10 mins later, and waited for a while.

The boys came out and omgg.

I was standing there and Butcher walked up.

Butcher: Hey!
Me: Oh hey man!
Butcher: How are you, how's it going?
Me: I'm good, it's sooo great! How about you?
Butcher: I'm good!
Me: Dude that's awesome! Well, think you could sign my school ID?
Butcher: Yeah, sure.
-signs-
Me: Thanks! Can I have a pic?
Butcher: Of course, yeah!
And we got a picture and it was pretty good.
^_^

Then Chizzy!
Me: Chiz! Hey!
Chiz: Hey how are you?
Me: I'm awesome, you?
Chiz: Great, I'm great!
Me: That's good! Think you could sign my school ID?
Chiz: Sure! -signs ID-
Me: Andd can I have a picture?
Chiz: Yeah!
And we got the pic, it doesn't look tooooo bad.


Then came William. I stood there for a while na dhe turned around at one point and I'm guilty- I was looking at his ass. Boy has no ass! But his pants were awesome.

At one point he turned around and smiled, I was like '=D -starts to blush, looks away-"
Then I finally got to talk and the first thing he said after "hey!" was:
William: Hey I remember you from Warped!
Me: Ohmyjeez you do?!
William: Yeah I do!
Me: That's amazing.

William: -laughs-
Me: Well, think you could sign my school ID?
William: Yeah sure!
Me: -hands ID-
William: -takes ID- (When he took it, he held it for nearly an entire minute, maybe more, just looking at it with this weird concentrative expression, then he signed it.
I was like o_O)
Me: Oh and I made this bracelet for you! -hands bracelet-
William: Oh it's nice! I love it! You made it?
Me: Fersure, I did.

William: That's so cool! Well how about we do a trade?
Me: Dude are you serious?
William: Yeah! -starts wrestling a bracelet off his arm, but it's tangled- Ah, I guess this just wasn't meant to be. Here -takes black, orange and green bracelet off other arm- Have this one.

Me: Seriously?
William: Yes!
Me: Thankyou. You're way too sweet.

William: Thanks!
Me: Should I put my bracelet on you?
William: Yeah!
And Amber held my stuff while I put the bracelet I made for him on him. It was so cool.

Then,
Me: Well...can I have a picture?
William: Definitely!
Me: Okay cool! This may sound weird, and I'll understand if you say no...but...d-do you think I could...kiss you on the cheek...on the picture?
William: Yeah, sure!
Me: Oh yay! Thanks!!! =D
And I handed Amber my camera and walked over to William, and he was like "Well we should have a countdown so you don't have your lips on my cheek for like, a while, that might be awkward.

So I was sitting there like leaning against him, Gahhh he smells so fucking amazing, I think I got high off him. Then I realised my camera wasn't on and I leaned forward to turn it on for Amber and William leaned with me.
lmao
Then she did a countdown and on 'two' I kissed him and he got this HUGE smile and the picture is so cute.

I was like "Thank you so much William, you're so sweet.
Thank you!"
And he was like "Sure, no problem!"
And the m&g time was almost up so I went and gathered with all the people who were already done and once they let us in, I was like first and center by the stage.
Emo's is no barricade!
So I'm feeling kinda nauseous but I'm okay by then.

Then Hey Monday starts to play. They're great, I rly love them actually. It was a fun, energetic set.

I got their setlist actually, and gave it to the girl next to me 'cause she fucking loves em.

But by the end of it I'm almost out of water and dying of thirst, so while Carolina Liar's set and I ask this dude on stage for water and he was like "Nope." even though there was like a bazillion cold bottles of water.

So this dude with long hair and a scruffy beard-ish thing is sitting there, and I look at him and he looks at me, he smiles and he was like "Hey!"
And I said "Hey I'm Autumn!"
And we talked, and a bit later I asked him for water and he was like "Yeah of course!"
Then Carolina Liar starts performing, and dude he was the singer. He kept looking at me, and I'd smile and he'd smile. His name's Chad and he's a sweetheart.

And at the end of the set, mercifully, he gave me a big cold bottle of water, and I was like "I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER THANK YOU.
"
And he hugged me.
^_^
Anddd I caught a drumstick from Carolina Liar!!

Then...WE THE KINGS!
Woo by then I had a headache and I felt like puking&passing out but I wasn't giving up.

Gawd it was so amazing.

Travis talked about saving the redheads and I yelled "SAVE THE GINGERS! GINGERS HAVE SOULS!" and he looked at me like 'O_o wtf'.
Ahaha
And their cover of Feel Good Inc was fucking amazing. I loved it.

The whole set was amazing rly, so so so much fun.

AND I GOT A SETLIST AND A DRUMSTICK.

IT WAS AMAZING.


Then by the time WTK ends I'm contemplating leaving the crowd really, because I feel so sick.

But I don't wanna leave! Uh, HELLO, TAI was fixing to come on!
So I continue on, very badly wantingg to stay for TAI.

And(I forgot to add this to my Myspace bulletin) Butcher is sitting at his drumset and his finger is bleeding a lot!
And I was like "BUTCHER WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FINGER?"
Butcher: I cut it with a razorblade.
Me: IT'S BLEEDING REALLY BAD.
Butcher: I know.
Me: YOU NEED A BANDAID. OR SOMETHING.
Butcher: But that's not my way!
Me: BUT IT LOOKS YUCKY AND PAINFUL.
Butcher: -starts pretending to cry-
And it went on like that.
I love Butcher so much. He's a sweetie.

Then TAI come out, and William looks at me and grins and I smile back.

And omgg during Forever Young, he got on his knees, pointed at me, looked me in the eyes and sang to me, the whole chorus of Forever Young. I swear. I couldn't fucking get the huge grin off my face.

And he pointed and sung "Get me outta the rain, get me outta my clothes, hope I don't make a sound, hope that nobody knows" to me, too, during Checkmarks. I was like "jkvgnsjwahfek YES. I WILL.
"
And he kept thrusting and shit so I got crotch in my face multiple times.

And he held my hand for a few seconds too.

Then he was going by and his mic cord hit me in the face and I flinched, and he reached down and put his hand on my face then like stroked my face from my forehead across my lips, I was like "...-incoherency-"
God, his hands are soft.

I'm in love you guys. WILLIAM BECKETT IS FUCKING UNREAL.

It was so amazing.

And after the show I was dizzy, in pain and felt nauseous, and I actually have a fever. Whoops. Hahah I managed to get sick and a fever at TAI. But I made it! At the stage the whole effing time. Gah this was amazing.

PLUS HE'S STILL WEARING MY BRACELET.


After the showw I talked to Nicole and Cheynne and Amber and Charity&Chris and all.

Andlike Charity and Chris looked through my pics and stuff, they're super cool.

And I was with Nicole, Megan and Amber talking to this dude from Hey Monday, I think his name's Mike? Idr.

And I got a pic with him, it looked special. lmao. Well technically two, Nicole hit the button twice so I got two pics. He smelled wonderful, ahaha I told him so.


And Cheyenne came up and gave me this little cardish thingy and said "From me and Nicole" And it's a $20 gift card for HT! Omg I love you guys, srsly. I hugged them and I'm soo happy. I feel bad though- I made them jewelry (Nicole an Amethyst&Jasper necklace, Cheyenne a pink coral&glass bead bracelet) and then they got me a $20 giftcard. Ily guys so much omgg.


Then I went out to meet Cassadee from Hey Monday, she's suuper sweet and soso nice.
She's so tiny and skinny though! But I talked with her, and she told this dude she was 19 and Dallas was like "Wow! I thought you were younger?"
And she said, "How old did you think I was?"
And I was looking at my phone and I had six texts and it surprised me so I said "SIX!"
And Cassadee was like "Really now? Six? Wow.
"
And I was like "Hahahah noo I have six texts. I actually honestly thought you were 16 or 17, not nineteen. Hahah.
"
She was sooo sweet.


By then I had a pounding headache and I was nauseous and couldn't fucking breathe and I felt like I was gonna pass out, Mama realised I had a fever and we left.

I cannot believe all of this happened.

I really can't.

It's amazing.

Throughout the years she's changed.

But it still haunts her.

The cold look in his eyes after his 10th can, the horrifying glint and the way his face contorts into a snarl. The way he screams, the same threats every time.

"I'm going to kill you! I'll put you in the fucking hospital, you'll be so fucking close to being goddamn dead that you'll wish you were! You little bitch you're worth nothing!"

The smell of the alcohol heavy on his breath making her want to gag.

Curling into a little ball wherever she is, hands over her neck and knees drawn up, sobbing and shivering through the yelling, praying that it will be okay. Hoping it will.

The nightmare seemed like it would never end.

She had one escape, the beats and riffs and lyrics that took her away, pulling her out of her Hell and into her Heaven.

Her Heaven is what kept her alive to this day, what made her want to live.

That girl is troubled but she can cope.

That girl is afraid but she is strong.

That girl was lost but she found her way.

That girl is me.

Note;; Okies so I have time to write today! YAY! Right? Right?

xD

I love highschool, you guys. It's like, wow, for me so far. Everything is good. Though my grades are iffy, I'm catching up...I'm in all Pre AP. x.x

How has everyone been?

 

So we stood there, frozen, with an awkward silenc building as Kaitlin stood next to Ryland, with Sisky right across from them. His gold eyes were huge and his mouth was actually hanging open in shock.

Kaitlin stared back with a calm facade, but I could tell in her head she was thinking furiously, figuring out what to do, how to deal with this.

Ryland wa sstanding, much taller than Kaitlin or Sisky, shifting from foot to foot every few seconds, eyebrows furrowed. He was thinking, and he was confused. Maybe even a bit frightened. Probably for Sisky's and his friendship, since he was obviously aware he may have just seriously fucked it up.

Finally, Sisky cleared his throat and spoke, his voice gruff. "Someone, please, tell me what happened." He didn't ask. He said it, coldly and surely.

Kaitlin glanced around, then sighed lightly. "We were all drunk last night, all us girls went and-"

"Woah, woah, woah," Gabe interrupted abruptly, "Autumn too?"

"Yeah." I sighed.

"...Okay I'll yell at you about that later...for William." Gabe said with a huge smile. I swatted him in the head.

"Asshole." I grubled.

Kaitlin cleared her throat again, louder this time. "All the girls went clubbing. It was fun. When we went to leave, Ryland caught us leaving and told us since he'd had no drinks he'd drive us home and all, in his car so our car is still at the bar, but yeah, still. So I pulled him to my room when we got home...it went from there." She ducked her head, staring at the ground.

The awkward silence returned, but only for a few moments. Sisky then asked, "Why?"

"Ryland is...different than you." Kaitlin answered, her voice quavering. I raised my eyebrows.

"What?" Sisky asked, confused.

"I've been...I've been talking to Ryland for two weeks, on the phone and stuff. One night when Gabe was drunk he was talking to Ryland on speaker phone and I woke up and started talking too and Gabe passed out but we kept talking, and we've been talking since and yeah...last night was an act, Ryland put up an act so you guys wouldn't know. I really care about Ryland, he's different. He gets me. He's serious, and he's sweet and...well..." She shrugged.

"So you want him, not me?" Sisky hissed coldly. Kaitlin didn't answer, just stared at the ground, unsure. Ryland was still silent.

"...Yeah." Kaitlin answered softly. A look of hurt crossed Sisky's face for a moment, but it was quickly replaced by a mask of fury.

"Okay." Sisky growled. Ryland's eyes widened.

"You...what...wow." Ryland murmured. Kaitlin nodded.

"You're different, Ryland. You really are. There's something about you that...I want in a guy. You're good for me." She said, then turned and hugged Ryland.

"That's...good..." Ryland answered, seemingly at a loss for words as he pulled Kaitlin closer.

All the rest of us turned and watched as Sisky walked swiftly back to his room, wondering what was to come.

--End--

Note;; Gah, two months since an update! I'm so sorry you guys omg. I started highschool on August 25th so needless to say I've been busy since then, but it's icky outside today so I'm updating.

I hope it's good, I'm so sorry it's been forever. =/

Oh how it's been so long~

 

As we were all leaving, a familiar voice called out from the club, "Yo! Girls! Wait up!"

We all stopped and turned around, curiously studying the tall man bounding over.

"Ryland, whatcha doing here?" Kaitlin asked, stumbling a bit ove rher words from what the alcohol was doing to her brain.

"Well I came to hang out at the club for a bit, but saw you guys leaving. Why're you girls all alone? And are you driving home with all of you drunk?" On the last question his voice rose in pitch, eyebrows shooting up.

"we wanted a girl's night out." Sarah muttered, pouting.

"We're not too drunk!" Kaitlin giggled, stumbling as she did so.

"Sure you're not. Well I've had, what, one drink? C'mon then, I'll bring you girls home." He turned around, heading back in the direction of...his car? Well it had to be his car...who's else could it be?

"SHOTGUN!" Kaitlin called, running ahead to keep up with Ryland. She stumbled and fell, and he grabbed her to keep her from falling all the way, especially in the heels she was wearing.

Kaitlin giggled insanely, "Thanks!"

"She's so cute, is she always like this?" Ryland asked us.

I nodded. "Insane? Ah-yup."

"I see why Adam likes her." He stated ponderously, as we all climbed...well, more of stumbled into the car, and Kaitlin laid her hand in Ryland's lap as they both sat down. It was a 15-minute drive home, and well, I remember some things so clearly.

At one point, Kaitlin shifted her hand and Ryland let out a muffled noise, maybe a moan but maybe a protest, who knows?

And as soon as we got home, Kaitlin grabbd Ryland's wrist and wandered off to her room, Ryland walking with her, not protesting.

Hmm, wow, weird.

And Sarah, Sheree, Vicky-T and I all fell asleep on the floor on the living room.

I awoke with what felt like someone hammering a mountain climber's axe into my head. It fucking hurt. I sat up slowly and a wave of nausea passed over me, and I stumbled to the kitchen sink, puking my guts up. Morning sickness plus hangovers, no fun, no fun.

"Ughh keep it down!" Sheree's voice groaned.

"Shut up, I'm puking." I snapped, leaning ove rthe sink again.

"Fuck, you got drunk last night!" Sheree was now wide awake.

"Uhh..." I coughed and wiped my mouth. "Yeah, thanks you guys, thanks a bunch." My voice was acidic.

"You drank." Sarah grumbled, she had woken up but didn't seem in too bad condition. "My heeead hurts." She groaned.

"How come you guys don't puke?" I said, rinsing my mouth out with water...then rinsing the sink out. Ew.

"We hold alcohol well. As does Victoria, since she drinks more than any of us...where's Kaitlin?"

"She went to the room with Ryland last night...Ohhh shit!" I gasped. "What about the guys?"

"It's...it's almost one in the afternoon, they'll be home soon." Sheree said. Her voice was hoarse and she winced as she spoke.

"Uhmm so do we go wake Kait and Ryland up so Kaitlin's not caught cheating or..?" I asked, letting my question trail off.

"I dunno."

"Neither do I." A new voice joined us as Ryland walked down the hallway in crumpled, dirty jeans and no shirt.

"You were sober last night."

"Yep."

"And yet you still had sex with her?"

"...yep."

"Even though she was drunk and one of your best friend's girl's?"

"...Yes." He sighed heavily. "I don't know what came over me. I mean, fuck, she was messing with me through my patns last night! What else could a horny guy do?!"

"...you're incredibly blunt." I said, shaking my head, but gasping as pain seared through it.

"So are you gonna tell Sisky?" Sarah asked.

"Kaitlin probably will." I interjected.

"You sure?" Sheree asked me.

"...No but he needs to know." I answered. "Wait you used a condom right!?" I suddenly squealed. Ryland nodded, to my relief.

"WE'RE HOME!" Gabe's booming voice echoed through the house as the front door swung backwards and slammed against the walls. Torture...ow...ow...pain in my head...

"Hey guys..." I said nervously with a smile.

"Have fun last night?" Vicky-T asked groggily, sitting up from where she'd fallen asleep on the floor.

"Yeah we did." Sisky answered with a crooked grin.

"No one's got hangovers?" Sarah and Sheree asked in unison.

"Lucky bastards." I hissed.

"Aww the chicks have hangove- Ryland, why are you here?" Gabe cut himself off when he noticed Ryland's tall, shirtless, crazy-haired figure.

Uh-oh.

"It's a, uhm, long story actually..." Ryland started nervously, just as Kaitlin walked out of her room, talking aloud to herself, saying "We fucked, why did we fuck? I was so drunk but...we fucked! How did I- Oh...uh...fuck...uh...hi everyone." She froze, looknig at the shocked faces of all the boys, Ryland's scruffy but red and embarassed face, and all of us girls's shocked expressions.

Wonderful, more drama, just what we all need.

Note;;
I promised, and look! My promise came through!

Aww William's not a pussy, I mean look, he still stuck up for me. xDDD
Even if he's a bad fighter haha.
And least Willy Jr is nice. ;] jkjkjk.

ANYWHO.

I got a squishy stuffed frog who reminds me of Gabe. His name is Gabe Saporta Jr.

To the story!!

 

Another week and a half passed before anything happened. We were going on the two-month mark, which meant we had...a month and a week left. It scared me, I didn't want this to end. It felt like, as soon as we left this house, we would wake up from this dream and go back to real life and just...pretend it never happened. I didn't want that.

I was walking around the house, not nauseous for once, but immensely bored. It was about 7am, I had fallen asleep early the night before so I had woken up early. And it was quiet. And boring. So I walked out back.

The morning was grey, some fog, and drizzly. A perfect day, nice and cool. I sat on the porch and Hemingway and Amethie walked up to greet me, tails wagging and tongue lolling. I laughed as Amethie jumped on me, trying to lick my face. I tried to shove her away but she had grown a lot in the past almost two months, plus now Hemingway was trying to lick me too.

"Oof! Get off you fat asses!" I yelled, shoving aimlessly and failing miserably.

"Hey, hey, dogs, she's mine." A voice chuckled, and Amethie was pulled off of me. She yipped in protest. I sat up, dusting myself off, and William sat down next to me, draping one long arm over my shoulder. I put my head on his, looking sideays up at him.

"Why are you up so early?" He asked me.

"Went to bed early. You?"

"I'm leaving today."

I froze. "For good...?"

"No!" William said, eyes wide, a grin on his face. He had the stitches out, but the cut was still on his lip, healing. "Of course not!" He hugged me tightly. "Just for a week. I have business to take care of, a couple interviews and stuff. Don't worry, I'll be back."

I relaxed, and laughed, facing William and kissing him. He laughed against my lips, causing me to laugh. I hugged him again, but I was laughing so hard that I fell backwards, and William fell with me.

On top of me, William finally stopped laughing.

"Think about what anyone would say if they walked up and we were laying like this." He said.

"But we're doing nothing." I replied. But this was fun, I was happy.

"Yes but still. Compromising position. Not to mention tempting." He kissed my neck as he said that, and I jumped a little, which caused a smirk to appear on his face.

"Don't think about it." I said automatically.

"Why not?" He pouted, kissing my neck again. I squirmed underneath him.

"'Cause I said sooo." I whined. William pouted some more, but rolled off of me. And off of the porch, onto the green grass of the backyard. I laughed and sat up, holding my hand out. William took it, and I pulled him up.

"You're such a girl sometimes, Beckett. Just for the record." I joked.

"I know, but you love me for it." He said. I shrugged.

This wasn't love. I knew love. But this did feel different. And strong. But we were taking our time, it felt like we had all the time in the world. Why rush?

"So what time...are you leaving?" I asked.

"In about fifteen minutes. I just wanted to tell you bye. Don't be too lonely."

"Oh...I might be." I laughed.

"I'll call." He offered.

"You better! I'll have to beat you otherwise." I teased, and then kissed him again. William smiled and pulled me into his lap and closer to him. Trust me on this- he's a good kisser. Finally he pulled away, and I hugged him tighter, burying my face in his shoulder.

"You make it seem like I'm leaving forever." William laughed, poking me in the side. I squealed.

"It kind of feels like it, with everything that's happened lately."

"That is true. But don't worry, you know that."

"Yeah..." I smiled.

"So...I guess...I'm going now." He laughed slightly and stood up, and pulled me up after him. I stood on my tiptoes and he kissed me.

"Byeee William. Don't take too many groupies, you may make me jealous."

"Suuure."

 

I went back to sleep after that.

I woke up to Sheree shaking my shoulder.

"Get upppp." She said.

"Whaa..." I grumbled sleepily.

"The boys are having a night out tonight!" Sheree squealed.

"Your point?" She had woken me up to tell me this?

"So are the girls!!"

"Your point?"

"It's about three in the afternoon. We gotta get ready!" Woah, three? How had I slept that much longer? I hadn't even been tired when I was up early. How odd. ...Oh well, I was weird anyways.

"We're all taken, Sheree, who would we be trying to impress?" My voice was muffled against the pillow.

"I dunno but it's fun!"

I couldn't help but laugh. "But I'm pregnant." I muttered.

"Soooo? We won't make you do anything, don't worry." She assured me, then grabbed my arm. "Now get up, we're all doing hair and make up and all that good stuff."

"Ugh." I groaned, but tumbled off the bed anyway. My hair was a mess, and I always looked bad when I first woke up. So of course, Sheree got this wicked grin on her face, and said,

"We're fixin' your hair."

I shuddered. I usually hated having my hair done. They torture me.

Sarah, Kaitlin and Vicky-T were all in the bathroom, doing hair. Kaitlin was straightening hers, and adjusting her skull headband. Vicky-T was putting her hair into a bun, and doing whatever else to it(she was messing with it a lot) and Sarah was curling hers more, making it into ringlet curls instead of wavy. Sheree wasn't going to do hers, besides some hairspray. She was keeping it wavy and down, surprisingly.

And then she went for my hair.

It took forever to do hair. Why? I do not know.

In the end, Kaitlin had in a skull headband, her long bangs covering her eyes and her headband pulling the rest of her hair back. Vicky-T's hair was up in a simple bun, small strands hanging in her face, and her bangs brushed to the side. Sarah's hair was in ringlet curls, her bangs straight. Sheree kept hers normal, wavy. My long what-used-to-be-side-bangs(which I usually kept tucked behind my ears) were brushed to the opposite side, my hair pulled into a loose ponytail and straightene dlike crazy. Sheree kept getting frustrated on my cow lick, it was funny.

Then for outfits. Which we each chose someone else's outfit from our own clothes. Not sure why. It was like we were making this a game.

I was choosing for Sarah. So, I chose a ruffled, pink, yellow and black plaid skirt with a solid yellow V-Neck top and a dark denim half-jacket, that stopped right below a girl's chest. I had a pair of black flats that matched it. I handed the outfit over to Sarah, who looked skeptical.

"It's weird, but it'll look amazing, don't worry." I assured her.

Vicky-T was choosing for me, so I ended up with a  strapless black minidress with one of those really wide belts that covered half of your waist, in fuschia, matching heels and a black and pink heart necklace that I owned.

Sarah chose for Kaitlin, and so Kaitlin had a white shirt with a seriously plunging neckline. She looked uncomfortable in it. She also had light flared jeans and white sandals.

"I can't wear this! It's like I'm flashing everybody! A boob is gonna pop out and be like 'look I'm Kaitlin's boob! Hey!' or something!" Kaitlin protested.

"Well it looks good. Don't blame me that your boobs are huge!" Sarah shot back.

"Don't hate." Kaitlin said simply.

"...I'm not." Sarah answered.

I laughed. "Woow Sarah."

"What?"

"Nothing. Don't worry."

"...okay."

Kaitlin had chosen for Sheree, and Sheree was dressed in a baby-blue tunic-type shirt, slightly V-Neck, and black skinny jeans, with 3-inch black heels.

Sheree chose for Vicky-T, and so Vicky-T was wearing a red spaghetti-strap top with another black, short-sleeved short jacket that went just below a her chest, with a faded miniskirt and bright red heels.

I don't think I've ever worried about fashion that much in one night.

It was crazy!

We all finally finished everything- including makeup(which I'm NOT going into detail with, it took for EVER to get it all done though.) and around seven we left to go out to eat, then we were headed to the clubs.

There was a really good(supposedly) new club that had opened a few nights before, Tantalyze. So we decided to go there. I was still reluctant...like always, but that stopped no one.

We got in the club no problem(still hadn't worked out security kinks. Seriously. We weren't 21 yet! Except Vicky-T.) and it was nice. Big, roomy, strobe lights, disco balls, music pumping everywhere. The left side of the huge place was taken up halfway by a very nice bar, and halfway by tabkles and benches. Right side and the middle, the DJ booth and the dance floor. It was nice.

Before long, everybody but me had had quite a few drinks. The dancing with guys was getting dirtier, and the alcohol for me was seeming more and more tempting. It was so hard to let go with all these worries, alcohol could make it shut up for a couple hours.

But my good conscience was telling me to remember consequences and blah blah blah.

It was annoying.

"Oh come on, Autumn!" Sheree yelled over the thumping bass of the song that was on. "One drink? The baby will be fine!"

"But I can't risk it!" I yelled back.

"What risk would there be?"

"I have a child inside me!"

"Just a drink. One. Or maybe a couple shots! I'll get you something."

"No, Sheree-"

Sheree had already walked over and caught Kaitlin, and they were both yelling to each other. Kaitlin started motioning at the drink menu, and so did Sheree. They were choosing a drink, was my guess.

"Here!" Sheree turned up not long later, Kaitlin next to her, shoving a fruity-smelling drink under my nose.

"What is it?" I asked.

Kaitlin started cracking up. "Sex on the beach!"

"...nice name." I laughed.

"Try it!" Kaitlin said. "Not too bad..."

They both reeked of alcohol. And I was being idiotic.

The drink smelled fruity, and I could pick out the alcohol smell in it definitely. But...I took a sip anyways. Strong, but good.

I gulped one down in no time.

And another,

and another,

and another...

Experimenting with alcohol was so fun.

That night just kept getting better.

My apprehensive approach to drinking dissolved and the dancefloor was so much more inviting, as were all the cute guys who were checking Sheree, Sarah, Kaitlin, Vicky-T and me out.

This night out was so fun.

Well, until we tried going home.

--End--

Yeah it's long and kinda crappy haha.

It's 2:41am and I'm so tired. xDD

The end of this chapter may be deceiving!

>.>

<.<

Note;;

Ohyes, Warped was amazing.

I also now have;
A WII AND ROCKBAND! (Drums, mic, guitar).
It's fxcking AMAZING.

And I'm marrying Beckett, plskthxyes.

Anywho.

 

All together, the time had been six and a half weeks we'd been here. A month and two and a half weeks. It seemed like so much longer.

Someone finally knew who had...done that to me. William knew, and he wanted to kill...him. I couldn't even come out of my room now that he was in the house. I mean, he'd been here for a day and already everyone knew something more than before was up but nobody had guessed that Shaant was who had...that.

William was sitting on my bed, and my head was in his lap. He was messing with my hair mindlessly.

"You can't do anything." I murmured.

"I have to!" William said fiercely.

"You can't!" I insisted. "He'll hurt me, William..."

"Ugh. I won't let him, Autumn, I swear."

"No! I can't risk it...I don't want...he...he'll hurt me." I wishpered, sitting up and facing William, who's fists were clenched and eyes tired but flaming.

"I won't let him." William said loudly, almost a yell. He grabbed my shoulders. "I won't let him hurt you, I swear." He kissed me again, and I closed my eyes, leaning into the kiss. William pulled away first. I waited a few moments to catch my breath again.

"But what if..."

"Autumn!" William snapped. His tone made me flinch. "...I'm sorry.." He said, softer now, sincere.

"It's okay." I grumbled. "But I can't let you do anything."

William sighed, frustrated, grabbing a fistful of his hair and twisting it violently. He shook his head, then looked at me again. "You have to let me. Please, Autumn. I'll bring him in here and we'll tell him that we know and...I don't know...talk about it..." William was desperate to do something.

"No!" I gasped. "No! He'll hurt me right here William!" My eyes widened and I stared, shocked, and the man next to me.

"I won't let him. I swear. I'll sit between you two the whole time. I'll get your pepper spray."

"...How do you know I have pepper spray? That's always hidden under my bras."

"...Uh...It's a funny story actually, uh, heheh, it's like..."

"Stay out of my bras, Beckett." I warned.

"Of course, babe." William replied with a smirk. I laughed, and layed back on my bed, worried and scared and happy and angry and nervous.

Worried and scared becauyse of how Shaant would react, nervous because of how Shaant would react, angry because of what he did to me, happy because William was here. He would protect me, I believed him. So I went to the dresser and pulled out my Pepper Spray, handing it to William, who handed it back to me.

"I'll go get Shaant." William said softly. "You hold this, hide it and pass it to me when Shaant's in here. Okay?" I nodded, and William kissed me on the forehead.

"Nothing will happen. Don't worry." He assured me, though I was shaking violently.

A few moments later, I heard William's voice drifting down the hall. And Shaant's joined his. They were talking. I barely caught any, I was zoned out, thinking of everything but Shaant. I didn't want to relive this...until I saw William walk through my door and plop down next to me. I passed him the pepper spray discreetly, and then Shaant came to sit on my other side. I cringed away, towards William.

Shaant...sit next to me." William said, his voice cold and hard as steel. Shaant's eyebrows shot up but he obliged, and sat on William's side. "Now, Shaant, we need to talk to you..."

Shaant tensed up and leaned forward, around William, his aqua eyes hard as stone. His jaw set. He looked terrifying. I whimpered and cowered more against William, who shifted a bit close rto me.

"What did she tell you?" Shaant asked, trying to keep his voice low.

"What ever do you mean?" William asked, mockingly.

Shaant tensed up. "Cut to the point Beckett."

"I know what you did to Autumn." William stated, trying hard to keep all emotion out of his voice. But there was so much tension in the air you could cut it with a knife. I gripped William's hand so hard I'm surprised it didn't break. Or he didn't yell out or something.

"What did I do to her?" Shaant asked.

"You...raped her..." William said coldly. I was still cowering next to him, shaking like I was nearly having a seizure.

Shaant clenched his fists. "I did, didn't I?" He sneered, a sick grin on his face and a proud tone to his voice.

"You did." I mumbled, defeated. I was getting dizzy again.

"Why?" William managed to get out. He was restraining himself as much as I was restraining him.

"She deserved it."

"For what?" I whimpered.

"You're such a fucking whore! No one like you deserves better." Shaant snapped.

William's eyes grew wide. "Excuse me?" He said through clenched teeth.

"You heard me." Shaant laughed.

"You are a sick son of a bitch." William said, taking a deep breath. I slowly let go of his hand, keeping one of my hands on his hip while he stood up. Shaant stood as well.

"She knows she liked it. All whores like that. And that's all she is, all she'll eve-"

William cut Shaant of by tackling him, throwing him to the floor. While Shaant had the advantage of strength and weight, William was smaller and faster and still pretty strong. Plus, he had the element of surprise with him.

William punched Shaant in the nose, and I heard a sickening crunch. When William had jumped, he'd tossed the pepper spray to me, but I was frozen in place, horrified.

Shaant was struggling under William, howling in pain. I heard footsteps down the hall and the door crashed open, and everyone was standing at the door, shocked.

Shaant managed to wrench one arm free and aimed a punch at William's neck, but missed and hit his collarbone half, and his neck halfway. William still stuttered and gasped, and Shaant took that chance to throw William off of him, now looming over the skinnier man. Shaant clawed William across the face and William yelled out, kicking hopelessly. Finally William got away from Shaant enough to stand up, staggering. Shaant stood as well, wincing.

"Fight like a mna Beckett. Not like the pussy faggot you are." Shaant laughed.

William staggered again, and Shaant laughed again. Everyone was just standing there...in shock.

Shaant shoved William with one hand, and he teetered, nearly falling. I gasped, which wrenched me out of my shock, and everyone else too. But no one knew what to do.

"I'm may be a pussy, Shaant." William started with a laugh, and Shaant punched him in the mouth. He fell back against the wall, and when he shakily stood again, blood was coming from his mouth. I cried out.

"But I'm not a rapist," William continued, swinging feebly at Shaant again, his fist connecting with Shaant's eye.

"It's not rape if it's willing. For a whore like her, we all know it was willing!" Shaant crowed, and that seemed to fuel William enough. He reached out and punched Shaant in the stomach, and then stumbled again. Shaant shoved William, then kneed him in the balls. William yelped and fell to the ground, and Shaant kicked him in the head.

William stopped moving.

"Shaant you god damned mother fucker!" I screamed, as soon as Shaant's foot connected with William's head. I finally willed myself to move, to make this nightmare end. I sprayed the pepper spray at Shaant, who screamed in agony and fell backwards.

"Do whatever the fuck you want to me but leave William alone! Thisa is my fucking nightmare, why are you dragging everyone into it?" I kicked him as hard as I could, aimimng for where it would hurt, but connected with his lower stomach. Shaant groaned, and fell against the wall.

That seemed to snap everyone out of it.

"Call an ambulance!" Victoria yelled. "All three are gonna need it."

"Call the fucking cops too, tell them we found a rapist." Pete yelled.

Kaitlin and Sarah took out their cell phones.

I collapsed next to William, just staring.

What happened next was a blur.

They strapped William and Shaant onto the rolly-gurney things, each in a different ambulance. They then insisted on strapping me to one, just in case, no matter how much I insisted I was okay.

The next few days were sdpent in the hospital, even though I was discharged after a few hours. Shaant was discharged after 26 hours, and then arrested, with no bail. Good.

William didn't wake up for two and a half days, which was why I avoided leaving the hospital. I sat next to him. I wouldn't move unless forced. Everyone else was in and out, Kaitlin and Sisky were there more than anyone besides me, though.

William had a relatively sever concussion, stitches were needed in his lip(his teeth had sliced through his lower lip when Shaant punched him in the mouth) and he would need some dental work to fix a few teeth. Two teeth had  been knocked out, one chipped, and there was a bit more damage to his mouth but none too bad. He had severe contusions, and painful, 1/2 inch deep gashed down his face from being scratched.

Shaant had bruises, a broken nose, and a slightr fracture in his left hip bone, from when I kicked him. He also had an actual allergic reaction to pepper spray, which had made his eyes swell up for a while, then robbed him of some eyesight. But he wasn't blind. Shaant deserved worse than that.

I had been put into counseling. Wonderful.

But he woke up. I was holding his hand and talking to myself absently, it was late evening and I was the only one there for a bit. Kaitlin and Sisky would be back within an hour, usually.

"William!" I cheered, softly. He looked at me and attempted a smile, gasping in pain.

I relayed his injuries to him.

"I can't believe this..." William grumbled.

"I can't believe any of this." I replied. "So much shit goes on."

"Yeah..." William sighed. "Are you...are you okay?" He asked, concerned.

"I'm fine. Thank you, William, thank you so much...you're so fucking amazing. I don't deserve you."

William laughed drily. "I don't deserve you." He countered. I moved to where I was standing over him, smiling.

"You deserve better than me." I said, a bit sadly.

"You keep thinking that. But it's not true." He said simply, then, wincing slightly, pulled me into a kiss. I smiled against his lips and pulled back almost immediately, and saw him grimacing in pain. His mouth probably hurt like a bitch, seriously. It looked a bit better, just stitched and bruised.

He looked like hell, in all honesty.

But he still looked amazing.

He was my William and I was never going to lose him.

I can't believe what he did for me.

William wasn't released until the next day, and Gabe, Pete and Sisky had went to pick him up.

Kaitlin, Sheree, Sarah and I were making a huuuge supper. Steak, corn, french fries(sliced and fried by us), sweet potatoes and brownies. We were all having fun making it too.

By the time the guys walked in we were almost finished, and we could almost hear their stomachs growling.

It felt like we were a family, again.

Everything felt okay.

For now...maybe...the nightmare was over.

Maybe.

--End--

Don't be mislead haha I'm not ending the story.
I'll be posting more hopefully tomorrow, but probably Saturday.

Hope y'all like!

Yes they fight like girls.
William hits a pinata like a girl, he probably does fight like a girl tbqh.

So Warped tour '08, San Antonio Texas.

We woke up at 7am, and all that were going was me, Kaitlin, My Mom and my little sister, Dallas.
And we left the house about 7:30 and made our way to WalMart.
I wanted Gabe's phone number, so we bough thim two bags of Pita Chips.
The 4th was Butcher's bday, so we got him a BUNCH of stuff. (And a 'pizzaforsisky' which was plastic lmao)
Then we bought lotsa waterr.
Then we went to the McDonald's in WalMart and got breakfast. While my mom was ordering breakfast, I noticed a TON of Monster Energy Drinks, and went and grabbed a pack and acted all possessive. Kait took a picture and the lady by the door was looking at us like WTF like we were crazy. xD
We left WalMart after that, and started heading to WARPED.

So on our way to Warped, there was this red Fiesta(the car) going the way we were so we were joking bout if the creepy guy in the Fiesta was going to Warped. (He was supercreepy). And we went by and we were laughing and my mom pointed at him, and he got this creepy smile on his face and started following us.
It was creepy.
We lost him eventually.

We stopped at a gas station along the way and while we were there, a van full of teenagers(like 15-19) and a car full of teenage boys(like 16-18) pulled up.
And I was like "I'm betting you they'll be at Warped."

Then we left the gas station and headed to Warped.
We got there 11:30-ish and were soo psyched. We got in the line(well, more like giant, snaking cluster)and all, and there was this band letting people listen to their CD and then getting people to buy them.
And one of the dudes had a sombrero, so me, being me, yelled "I like your sombrero!"
Hahah and the guy was like "Do you like it enough to buy our album?" And walked over to me. I had no money so I kept saying no. Then this lady who worked there started yelling, "ALL GIRLS IN LINE RIGHT HERE."
So the sombrero dude said "Okay here, take the album because that lady's being sexist."
So yay, free album! ^_^

We got in and started walking around and trying to find stuff.
Which is alwayss confusing at Warped, seriously.
But we did see the merch tents so I rushedd over to give Cobra's Merch Dudethechips, and he took my phone and put the number in and I was all "YAY I HAVE GABE'S NUMBER!"
And then we walked two merch tents down to TAI...'s and gave Ziggy Butcher's bday stuff.
Then I asked about the SLH thing, which said it was at noon and Ziggy said "Yep, noon here at the tent."

So after that we set out to find the thingy that tells when everyone's playing.
We found it, and wrote down the times.
We The Kings were already playing. So we went to watch them.
A lot of the bands we wanted to see had conflicting times, so I didn't get to see Katy Perry or The Higher and stuff.
But oh well.

As we were trying to find the stage WTK were playing at we ran into another two dudes who were showing people their music and then getting them to buy their CD.
And we listened to a song and honestly it was waaay good.
So Kait bought the CD (me=stillnomoney)
and we talked to the guys, who's band is called Kill Your Ex(I love that band name, lmao it's so rad). One had curly brown hair and was taaall, his name was Joey. And the other had straightish blonde hair and was taaaall, his name was Dan. xD
We got pics with them haha, they were way nice.
Then we went to catch WTK's performance.

We rushed over to the stage WTK was playing at, and weren't too far away.
It was sooo fun, they're like RAWRENERGETIC.
And I got good pics.
AND I SAW THE GUYS FROM THE GAS STATION..
It was fun.

After that, it wasn't long til noon so I went to sit around TAI's merch tent and wait for noon to come around for the SLH thingy.
And Kait, Dallas and Mama went to go watch Family Force 5.
So not long later another SLH comes up, and we talk and we found out we knew eachother!
Hahah she's an SLH boardie, Kayellgee. Her name's Kelsey and she;s way rad, hahah it was cool.
Around noon, Jack came up with a briefcase which was handcuffed to his hand. Seriously he looked a bit like a drug dealer, lmao.
I talked to Jack a bit, about Butcher's bday and TAI TV, and how Warped was going and stuff. It was waay easy to talk to him and he's so nice.
Then I got a pic and he did this weird thingie with his lips and he was like "See? I did this! -demonstrates lip thing- It's a family tradition."
It was funny.
Then he opened the briefcase and started letting SLH listen to Forever Young or About a Girl off of Fast Time at Barrington High.
I chose Forever young and ohmyjeez it's so effing amazing.
While SLH was up there, there was these teenies who called Jack JOHN and called Ziggy MIKE!
They just went along with it, lmao.
These teenies kept talking about William's hotness adn how they touched Micheal Guy Chislett before and all this stuff.
It was irritating.

Then me and Kelsey and her friend who'snameIforgot were off to see FF5 as well, and I followed them and me and Kelsey ran into this blonde dude who's name idk from a band called Phone Calls From Home, and we talked, and listened and they were pretty good. Kelsey bought the CD(me=stillnomoney) and we got a pic with the guy. xD

Thennn we sat at the edge of the FF5 crowd and talked, and when they finished, I went back ove rto the TAI merch tent so everyone could find me. Andd they did.

The Academy Is... was playing at 2pm, and The Bronx was playing before them so we made our way through The Bronx crowd and we ended up one person from barricade and all but tbh I really disliked The Bronx. Kaitlin liked them lots haha but not meee.

The Bronx finished and we were all still one person away from barricade.
TAI started playing, yaaaaaaaaayyyy!
It was amazing but the crowd got freaking INSANE man!
I made it to the barricade by being shoved.
But my mom and Dallas and Kait all had to be pulled from the crowd. Kait was actually being choked by some random person. It's like wtf.
But I was barricade and not giving up!
It was so damn amazing and William noticed me like 4 times. I have proof of two times-
Once I made the peace sign at him and he smiled and did it back, which I have a pic of.
I pointed to him and he grinned and leaned over towards me.
I blew him a kiss and he 'caught' it and held it to his heart. I have it on video.
Andd I was singing along to About a Girl and he pointed and nodded.
And then William went into the crowd not far from me and I got amazin' pics of it. Then he was walking away and grabbing hands and stuff. I asked for a hug, and he was like "Of course!" And I hugged him and on impulse(seriously, impulse) I kissed him on the cheek. He grinned and started laughing. I felt kinda bad but still...he had no issue. xDD

Then I left the TAI crowd and started wandering around trying to find Mama and Kaitlin and Dallas.
I did find MGC, lmao. But security pushed me away, how depressing.
Then I found my group. xD
I got waterr and downed an entire bottle.
Then my mom and Dallas told me and Kait we could go around by ourselves for a little while.
So we did.

We went to TAI's merch table and sat for a bit, and Cobra was having a signing.
And Cobra walked right by all of us and I said hi to everyone, and Ryland and Kait touched hands.
Kaitlin adores Ryland, lmao so she was like "YAAAY!"
Haha it was so cool.

Then we got kinda bored and started walking some more and we ran into Joey again(minus Dan) and talked some, it was fun.
I was talking to Joey and he was talking about Kill Your Ex touring in November, and I said "Ooooh! Come to Austin! Pleeease? My birthday is in November!" And he was like "Really? How old are you gonna be?" And I said "Uhh...fifteen..." And he was like "Oh...you're young." So I asked his age, he's 21. It's kinda depressing. He's way cute. lmao. I asked if I could kiss him on the cheek and he was like "It's illegal! It's illegal! ...but okay." And me and Kait both did. He said he felt like a pimp haha.

Then we wandered around some more and stuff.

And then we ran into Joey and Dan again. xD And me and Kait talked to them and I kissed Joey on the cheek again. And Kait asked if she could kiss Dan and he said sure and she kissed him on the LIPS! I was like 'gkjxdhfglhashjn WTF."
Bahaha it was odd. And Kait gave Joey her phone number.

Then Paramore would be playing after Norma Jean.
So I went to get in the crowd that was forming for Norma Jean. Now, I knew NOTHING about Norma Jean, let alone that they were so heavy of rock.
I hate them btw. I got hurt a lot during that crowd, but I was one person from barricade by the time they finished, and making friends with random people near me. And then Say Anything was playing on the opposite stage and we were listening. Their last song was WOW (I can get Sexual Too) and the Paramore crowd kids were singing along, including me.
Then Paramore started playing, starting with 'Let the Flames Begin'. I stayed for that but it hurt so much. And halfway through the second song, 'That's What You Get' I had to be pulled out, I was feeling woozy. A crowdsurfer or three had landed on me during Norma Jean and I was dizzy and my head hurt. So I got pulled out but I got stuck and they couldn't pull me out. The security guy was screaming at everyone to let me go and the people I was around, especially this one nice guy Matt, pushed me out. There are some sweet people at Warped.

I didn't even stick around for the rest of Paramore. I hobbled(literally haha) back to TAI's merch tent. And as I got there, guess who walked by?
I was talking to Kait on the phone and Beckett brushed by me!
I was like -heartattack- "William! Hey!"
And he smiled and was like "Hi, how are you?"
And I said "Good, you?"
"I'm great."
"Can I...can I get a picture?"
"Of course Darling! No problem!" (He called me darling. Hahah yaaay)
And some girls walked up and he signed something then the girl asked for a picture, and William said, "No, she asked first, hang on just a minute."
And we got a pic and I was happy.
And I hugged him, and then I hugged him again, and he said "Aw, sweetie! All these hugs! You're so nice!" Bahahaha he makes me happy. =]
And so I backed up after telling him thanks. But I meant to ask William something.
So I waited a sec, then said "Hey, uh, William?"
And he turned towards me and said "Yeah?"
"Can I ask you something once the crowd clears out? WOAH you've had your lip pierced?" (William's face was like waay close to mine, seriously like three inches. I was shockingly nervous.
And he brightened up and said, "Yeah, actually." And he put his tongue where his lipring was and pushed his lip out so I could see the scar better. And he said "I got it like five and a half years ago, when The Academy Is... first got started, but I took it out."
And I said "It would have looked interesting, I guess. But I like you a lot without it, y'know?"
And he got this adorable smile and was like "Thanks."
Then I texted Kelsey and told her Beckett was here.
And My mom and Dallas walked up too.
And then Chiz was there!
Hahah and I started talking to Chiz and he was very talkative.
I was like "Hey!"
And he said "Hey, how's it going?"
"Good, what about you? You guys were amazing today."
"Thanks! This ismy first time being on something like this, it's so different! There's a lot of stress and it's crazy!"
"Hahah wow! Are you having fun?"
"Yeah, I really am!"
"That's great."
Then some girl asked him for a pic. xD So we stopped talking.

I ran into Jenna, too, and we talked about lots.
There's one blue shirt that says
The
Aca
Dem
Yis
and Jenna was like "If people ask us about what it says, we can just say 'yeah the Aca dem yis! Haven't you heard of them? They're great!" Hahah it was so damn funnyy.
And Jenna talked to William and he hated on his pic in the Warped book thingy. It made me sad, I like the pic.

And I talked to William again because somehow my pic got deleted. D=
So I asked him for another picture.
I was like "My picture got deleted!"
"Aww we can't let that happen! We have to take another!"
"Yay! okay. =D"
And he took it and we looked and he was like "Wow, that's bad for both of us."
"No, only me. You don't look bad."
"We should take another."
And this girl took it for us and it was worse than the first but I didn't wanna bug William so I said nothing.
But I hugged him
and then he said "Thank you!"
And I said "You're Welco- WAIT! No, I should be thanking you. So thank /you/." And he got this amused expression.
And said, "No, no! Thank you!" And by now all the people were listening and Jack and Ziggy were laughing their assess off.
So I said "Nooooo. See that's not right. I'm supposed to be thanking you and-"
William actually cut me off and said in this spanish-y accent, "No. Nonononono. Thank you." Bahaha it was like amazing.
Then I kinda smiled, stomped my foot and attempted to look mad and said, "NO! THANK YOU."
And everyone started laughing, and I hugged him again and said "William, you are amazing."
And he said "So are you, hun." (He called me hun, too!)
And I laughed and said "Thanks. Hahaha bye."
I'mma laugh if Jack got that on camera.
It was like the best thing ever, seriously. It was so easy to talk to him, besides the fact I had butterflies like crazy. I love that boy. xD
And his short hair. He has this amazing face, seriously I love his short hair.

And then after that, no one played til 7-something. I mean by then it was nearly six but still. Me and Kait met up again, idk where Mama and Dallas were.
So we started walking and we ran into the blonde dude from Phone Calls From Home, and he recognized me and we talked, then two of his other bandmates(one of which also knew me, but the other didn't) walked up. I had cookies and so I was sharing them with the guys. They were happy to have cookies. xD
Then they got this broken umbrella and the one I didn't know was holding it.
He wouldn't let Kaitlin under it 'cause she said she didn't burn.
Then one of them(the one with the umbrella.) actually started pouring tour water on my feet. D=
I was like "Hey!"
"What?" -laughing-
"Stooop thattt."
"But it makes your shoes clean!" -pours more-
"If you pour any more of that on my foot-"
-pours more-
"I'm gonna get revenge for that! No more cookies for you."
"Fiiiiine. I'm sorryyyy." And he walked over and pulled me and Kait into a hug under the umbrella.
I shared more cookies too.
Hahah it was like amazing.

Then we walked around for a bit, since it wasstill a while before Cobra.
And I wanted to say bye to Dan and Joey so we found them and I walked up to Joey and tapped his shoulder then hugged him, and told him we were seeing Cobra and then we were leaving.
And I asked if, if he wanted, I could give him my number 'cause I could text.
Soo I gave him my number and like five seconds later texted. xDD
But I hugged them both and told them bye, and kissed Joey on the cheek again and Kait kissed Dan on the lips again. Wow Kaitlin. xD
Then we went to see Cobra.

I met these girls in Cobra's crowd and they were raddd.
My age, give or take a couple years.
Soooo fun.
And when Cobra came on, it was so damn amazing.
Gabe works the crowd amazingly.
And grabs his crotch waaay much ahahaha but I have no issue with that.
And during 'Church of Hot Addiction' at the end, instead of saying 'G-A-B-E gonna get you high' he said "Pleasure Ryland gonna get you high" bahaha
And Beckett came out during Bring It. And so did Travie and it was so amazing.
I had soooo so much fun. Of course.
I ALMOST got the set list, too. But I didn't, sadly.

Then me and Kait were going to meet my mom but we saw Joey and Dan again and went to say bye for real.
And I asked Joey for one more picture and kissed him on the cheek in it. xD He liked the pic.
I gotta send them the pics, they said so.
It was fun.

I'm going to miss every bit of Warped.

It was one of the best days ever.

Everything that makes me happy was there...it's just like...wow.

I loved it.

[pics soon]

Okay so guess where I'm going in 6 hours?

I'M LEAVING TO GO TO WARPED! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I'm so shockingly psyched!
We found out we were going on Wednesday and bought the tickets on Thursday.
Me, Kaitlin, my little sis Dallas and my mom.

And me and Kaitlin wanna make a sign...
Our only idea of what it should say is 'William Beckett has a $5 footlong'
But that'd be weird. xDDD

CIWWAF sold out though. D=

 

Broke up with my boyfriend again.
He was doing shit behind my back pretty much.

Anywho.

I should totally be sleeping.

 

"No. I'm not leaving until you talk to me. Please." William's voice was softer, but I shivered. I looked over at him, expecting him to still be on the windowsill, but instead he was RIGHT THERE, face to face with me. I wanted to look away but his eyes...

"No. N-no." I stammered weakly, my voice failing me.

"Please?" He breathed. I felt heat rise to my cheeks.

"No." I said again, still weak.

And suddenly his lips were on mine, soft and warm and I lost myself in him. I...the feeling was incredible. I felt wanted, loved, and I could forget. His lips were on mine and it was the best feeling in the world. I responded without meaning to, without thinking, pulling myself closer. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me into his lap.

He pulled away, gasping for breath. I was breathing hard, trying to catch my breath. He'd left me breathless. He'd left me...

NO!

This couldn't happen again!

I tried to move away, glowering at him, but his hands were still wrapped around me, he wouldn't let me go.

"Talk to me." He pleaded.

"...no..." I answered breathlessly.

"I have to know. Who was it?" He asked again. I heard the razor edge in his voice. He hated who did this.

And so did I.

"I...I can't..." I whimpered, and instead of pulling away, I hid my head against William's chest.

"You have to." William insisted.

"N-no." I mumbled. "I'm...tired."

"Okay." He sighed.

"Stay with me. Keep it...away." I sounded so strange, so fragile, even to myself.

"I will." He assured me, and I laid back on my bed, William laying next to me. I pulled myself close to him, head on his chest. His heartbeat was steady, normal, strong. What I needed my life to be like...

and I dozed off.

I slept without the terror for the first time in a while.

When I was woken up the next day, William was already gone. He'd woken up long before me. But today...

I got up and grabbed some clothes, a grey tank top with mickey mouse on it and a pair of denim shorts. I wandered to the bathroom as a wave of nausea hit me, and leaned over the toilet, throwing up the few contents of my stomach. Morning sickness...

As soon as I finished puking(ew) I turned on the water in the shower and took a long, hot shower, washing my hair and scrubbing my skin and sahving and everything. It's not like I hadn't been showering, but this was the first time I'd actually relaxed and all.

I got out, towelwrapped around myself, and brushed my teeth, then got dressed and combed my thick hair out, walking out of the bathroom. The cool air hit my skin and raised goosebumps, and I wandered down the hall, feeling better than I had in a while.

"HOLY SHIT!" Gabe yelled obnoxiously. "SHE'S UP!"

I looked around the room, everyone was there and-

my eyes stopped on one person.

Shaant.

His eyes met mine and an unspoken threat flickered in them.

I swayed, and my vision got cloudy. As I fell to the ground, it went black.

I woke up, groggy and foggy, and saw concerned faces all around me.

"She's up." Sarah breathed, relieved. (Note- Heey I'm full of rhymes.)

"Move." I heard William's command and they actually listened. Suddenly William was over me, his eyes full of shock and concern. He leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. My heart jumped erratically and I closed my eyes. He pulled away, all too son and brought his lips to my ear.

"I know he did it. You said so in your sleep." His barely audible words made me shiver. "I'll kill him."

I didn't know he was so serious at that moment.

--End--

"This war has never been over. We knew that." Hayley hissed. "But you, being alive? No way."

"We have some talking to do." I concluded, twirling a strand of my chocolate brown hair around my fingers.

"Why should we?" Gabe croaked. I didn't look at him, just tensed my shoulders and replied,

"Because you need to know things about me, I need to knows things about you guys, we all need to straighten these things out." I growled, my voice more strained than I meant to have it.

"Why should we give you that chance to explain?" Ryland nearly yelled. "Are you aware of what you did to us?!"

"I am. Which is why we need to talk." I said, as calmly as I could muster. I could feel HIS presence strong in my head, there and making sure nothing happened. HE still didn't completely trust me around everyone who I...hurt. I've proven myself over and over again, and for three years I've proven myself. But he still isn't sure.

For good reason.

"Should we give her a chance?" Jeremy asked quietly. He looked...older. More..strained. Everyone really did.

"I think so..." Vicky-T murmured. Did I mention she left OUR side? She got all pissy and left. I did beat her ass though...it was reasonable.

"Yeah but you were also on their side." Brianne, the new girl(who had obviously been filled in on everything. I wonder if she was even human.) said cautiously.

"Yes but I'm not any longer, I have a long-burning loathing of Lyrica here, thank you, but I do believe she deserves enough of a chance to explain." Victoria explained in a quick, emotionless flurry of words.

"Okay." Nate said. "Give her a chance."

"Fine." Gabe and Hayley said at the same time. A boyish girl voicemixing with a hoarse, man voice.

"Uh...explain." Mason said from where he, Trace, Blake and Anthony stood on the sidelines.

"Oh." Hayley gasped, remembering they were here. "Well remember the whole vampire war story thig we told you guys a while back?"

"Yeah..." Anthony said uneasily.

"It is true and this is it." Josh concluded.

"...Really?" Trace asked, gorgeous eyes huge. Bigger than usual.

"Yep." Hayley said, accentuating it by popping her lips to the 'p' sound.

"...wow. I think I'm going to lay down on the bus now." Trace said weakly. There were a few murmured agreements, and slowly, Metro Station left.

"Now, explain." Alex demanded. He leaned awkwardly on one leg, obviously from when his leg had been broken in the big battle a while back.

"Wait, tell me first, how ar-" I started.

"No. Tell us." Gabe said, so coldly that I nodded. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and blocked every trace of HIM from my mind. HE could no longer hear me, sense me or anything.

"Okay. Fine." I said, opening my silvery eyes and looked straight at Gabe. "I did kill myself after...that. I picked up the god damned gun and shot myself. But was HE happy with that? No, of course vampire boy Beckett wasn't. He brought me back to be his queen and all that shit. I didn't want to be brought back but I was. I've done his dirty work since. We have a very strong bond. But I've blocked him so I can truthfully say this. I did not want to kill you. Any of you. Why would I have shot myself otherwise? But my dears, I must do as I am made and I must follow what I was made for. I'm sorry."

There was an uneasy, untrustful, awkward silence for a few moments.

"Well, we're all alive." Nate finally said. "As you can see."

"How?" I asked. I finally let the feeling of amazement, of joy sweep over me. It hit me so strong, like a tidal wave, it made me want to curl up and cry out of pure elation. They were okay. The people I had grown so close to, so attached to. Those I had loved so much were okay.

"I told you, you forgot to finish, er, killing me." Josh stated awkwardly. He had aged nicely, beinga tiny bit taller, a bit more well-muscled, with short, spiked hair and his huge brown eyes now cold, distant. That's what the death of everyone you loved did. That's what not being able to save your brother did. He had the love of his life- I saw the rings on his and Hayley's hands- but his brother was still dead. He could save them all but Zac.

"And...?" I prompted.

"He's fucking magical!" Hayley burst out, waving her fingers in the air at the word 'magical'. She had aged to. Stopped dying her hair, it was cut an inch above her shoulders and a deep auburn color. She looked wiser, stronger, less childish. She looked more her age, not like she was twelve anymore.

I couldn't help but snicker. I covered my mouth and laughed as quietly as I could, and asked, "So how?" Again.

"Okay, since they aren't being nice and telling..." Gabe sighed, his voice cracking again. He'd changed, but not much. His age was showing, crows feet appearing around his eyes and a few more wrinkles on his face. But he was still...Gabe. I couldn't even barely look at him without the familiar feeling of...love.

Gabe continued, "Josh apparently healed himself, and as soon as he was able, did every single thing he could and brought everyone back to life with as minimal...eh, issues, as possible. Everyone's got scars, limps, left-behind problems...but we're all alive now. Josh can't use his powers much anymore though, because of how mu-"

"GABRIEL FUCKING SAPORTA!" Ryland yelled. "Too much information for her!"

"Ryland you scream like a girl. And sound like a PMSing girl." I muttered. "Don't worry babes, it's all cool."

Ryland was different too. He had a few silver strands of hair, his face looked older, more tired. His hair was cut a bit shorter than I remembered. Victoria's hair was sheared short, three inche sabove her shoulders, but she didn't look too different. Except her nose was a bit crooked from when I had broken it. Nate was no taller, not much different, just more...stressed.

Even I had changed. I mean, three years...I'd gotten taller, thinner, my hair was darker and past my shoulders. I had red undertones to my hair, and I guess I looked pale and underfed...living with a vampire did that to you.

I didn't even know about the other Academy boys, since The Academy Is... broke up not long after I killed everyone.

"Did...did he bring back the boys of The Academy Is...?" I asked nervously.

"Uh yah."

I would know that voice anywhere.

"MIMERY!" I yelled, excitement flowing through me. She was my best friend, my sister. I'd killed her. I'd killed everyone. I'd...done it. And I never thought I could take it back. She had changed, too. She'd grown about an inch taller, her hair was long, back-length and midnight black. Her bangs almost completely covered her eyes, and were dyed brightred, with white on the sides. And in her arms was a child, a girl, who looked nearly two-years-old. A baby girl..she'd had a kid...she was a beautiful baby, with gold eyes, flecked with red, skin the color of coffee with alot of cream and fangs. The child had fangs.

"Hey Lyrica." She laughed.

"MAMA! MA! WHO?!" The baby screeched, laughing.

"This is my sister Lyrica, your Auntie Lyrica." Mimery said patiently.

"Ly-ra! Ly-ra! Auntie Ly-ra!" The child cheered.

"So who...?" I asked, though I had an idea.

"Sisky." She answered with a smile.

"So they're here?"

"Sisky and Butcher are. Honestly, most of..us...are. You chose a good time to, um, return." Mimery sighed, standing up. The child clutched her hand. "It's okay, Rosary, it's okay." She said soothingly to the baby girl.

"I can't believe you had a kid." I said in utter disbelief. "Are you two married?"

Mimery held up her hand, where a gorgeous, onyx, white gold and diamond ring was. It was elaborate, onyx with white gold snaking around it, and diamond designs and it was so gorgeous.

"Wow." Was all I said.

"So yeah." Mimery said.

"Uhm...I guess this is a nice reunion and all..." I stammered. "But..I can't...I mean.."

"Wait." Gabe cried suddenly.

"Dude, dramatic." I muttered. "Seriously. You're just so...tha wa-"

He cut me off by pulling me to him and fiercely pressing his lips against mine. Like it felt hard enough to bruise.

And that feeling, that undying, pure love surfaced again, the love I had shoved down and away into the deepest part of my mind, the part that I planned never to look through. I never wanted that to resurface and he brought it back and...it was just...

Amazing.

But deadly. Hideous. Horrific.

--End--

So yeah. Still introducing the basic story.

You'll see.

 

I'm back with my ex Gabi. We can't stay away from each other, we're just so happy with each other I guess.

And Kaitlin is living with us. Sorta. xDD

Be posting more of RTFP soon. I promise.

The man standing in front of me was adorable. Tall and skinny, longish black hair and gorgeous blue eyes. A long face, a big, long nose, but it looked good.

He was the object of my mission, the man HE suspected to have started this again. I had to go along. HE did own me.

"Hello." I purred, and the man smiled.

"Hey."

"Who are you?" I asked, making my voice inviting.

"I'm Trace." He answered. "Who are you?"

"That's of no importance for now." I answered simply with a smirk, twirling my soft brown hair on my fingers. "So...how's it going?"

"Pretty good. What are you doing here?" I'd gotten his attention, piqued his curiousity. Perfect. Not like it was hard, of course. Never was.

"Just...stuff. Messing around. Exploring. Having some fun." I answered with a shrug, giving him a flirty glance. I felt envy strike through my head and smirked again, knowing HE was who was jealous. HE always got jealous easily, since...before.

"Sounds cool." Trace answered. He shifted and studied me with his assessing, sky blue eyes. "Well I'm in a band and-"

"I know." I interrupted. "Metro Station."

"So why'd you ask who I was?"

"Eh, just...asking. No reason really." I answered with a grin.

"Oh okay."

"I'm coming to the show tonight definitely." I added, laughing. Metro Station, Paramore and Cobra Starship...after all that. They still managed it. Just like I did.

"That's good. Hope I see you." Trace said with a crooked grin. It made my stomach flip. He was honestly sexy. Of course I'd never stray from HIM. HE was my forever love, and nothing would change that. Not even the guy I had to seduce. Oh, what I did to help this...war.

"Oh, you will." I answered, almost a purr, and I saw the excitement spark in those pretty blue eyes.

"Awesome."

"It'll be fun." I said. "Trust me." And I winked at him, turning around and walking away.

That evening, I was front and center at the show. And Trace noticed. During Metro Station's performance, he leaned down and briefly kissed my cheek. I smirked, and mouthed 'Meet you after.' and he nodded. Perfect. It couldn't go more smoothly.

Cobra Starship was next, and I could hardly believe that it still was. How could they do that? In this..war.

Paramore was last. I noticed Hayley had a violent scar on her neck and a slight limp. And since Zac's 'accident', they had replaced him with Josh's friend Brianne...since he was no longer...alive.

As soon as Cobra had come onto the stage, I had faded to the back, unwilling to get recognized by...him. Gabe. After everything, I was never sure if I could see him again.

And after Paramore finished, I easily slipped through the crowd and out the back door of the small venue. Trace was already there, and the first thing he did was slam me against the back wall, pin me there, and start kissing me. As was my job, I willingly kissed him back...and more.

And when I awoke the next morning, remembering the whispered promise of 'I'm staying.', I was still in Trace's bunk...and the bus was moving. This definitely could not go more perfect. I felt another strike of jealousy in my head. HE could never get over this, though HE sent me on these missions.

'Don't worry dear. I love you...so much.' I murmured into his mind. I felt a jolt of satisfaction, and laughed softly, peeking out of the bunk. I had no idea where my clothing was. Standing near me was Mason of Metro Station, his eyes wide. I wonder if they knew Trace has brought me onto the bus? I'd turned everything out but him, so I didn't remember.

"Oh, you're the girl from last night." He said. I relaxed. "Your clothes are at the bottom of the bed by the way." I nodded and dove back into the bunk, finding my clothes and dressing the quickest I could while in a small bunk on a moving tour bus. Oh well.

I climbed out of the bunk and Mason pointed me to where Trace was. I walked over and he turned around, wrapped his long, tattooed arms around me and kissing me. I smiled, and laughed.

"Anthony, Blake, this is that girl who I brought onto the bus." Trace said. They must not have known.

"Does she have a name?" Blake asked, more of a statement than a question.

"..." Trace looked a bit guilty, actually.

"All in good time." I purred, keeping my voice low and letting a seductive tone creep into it. Itwas so easy to distract men. And they objected no more after that.

We stopped within the next hour, and sat around until sound check, where I followed the Metro Station boys. Cobra Starship and Paramore were sitting around already...and as we walked in, everyone turned to greet Metro Station.

That is, until they saw me. All eyes turned to me, and I smirked, letting my eyes flash white momentarily, taking in the shock and the anger. Except from Gabe. I...couldn't.

"Why is she here?" Josh roared. "WHY?!"

"Why are you still alive?" I hissed in reply, one eyebrow raised.

"You never finished killing me." Josh laughed drily. "That's why everyone's still alive."

"Better question," Nate spoke up, his eyes blazing. "Why are you? Far as I know you shot yourself."

"My Dearest didn't want to lose me, he kept me alive." I answered simply.

"You...I can't believe you." I immediately knew who the broken voice belonged to, and I hesitated, but turned to face him, my face emotionless. "You fucking killed me. I loved you."

"Oh, well." I answered airily, hoping how my voice cracked wasn't noticeable.

"Lyrica Audrena Phoenix," The female voice said, "Get out of here. Now."

I spun around to face an angry Hayley Williams, fire coating her hands and sprouting from her back in wing-like patterns.

"I'd rather not. Know why?" I asked, letting a huge smile cross my face.

Silence.

"Because I'm back, babes. This war is not over."

--End--

Recognize it?
'A Smeared Kiss, A Moment Missed' now has a sequel.
More will be revealed soon.

I'm posting more of RTFP within the next three days. I'm almost done with it, honestly. Don't worry, I'll neverr abandon that.

I may be getting BACK withmyex, Gabi. I...shouldn't have given him up, honestly.

Anyways. I need sleep. =]

Goodnight.

Note;;

LONG time, no update. Sorry babes.

I no longer have a boyfriend. xD I'm sorry, he was a sweetheart but i got sick of hearing "I wanna bang you" and shit about sex ALL THE TIME. Plus a lot of friends, er, disliked him.

Going to see CIWWAF July 11! YEEE!

 

Anyways.

I'm sleepy and I have a tummyache. Ughhhh.

 

 

"Autumn, wake up." The soft familiar voice ripped me from the horror I was reliving...again. I bolted upright in the bed, and saw a partially-shadowed, tall figure leaning over me. I squealed with fear and ducked away from him.

"No!" I squeaked, an immediate reaction. No one was to be trusted. No man.

"...Autumn?" William looked baffled, running his bony hand through his shaggy brown hair.

"Don't touch me." I whimpered. William's brown eyes clouded with fear and confusion.

"But...Autumn it's me. William. It's not...I'm not...whoever it was. I'm not. I'm nothing like that. I'm not going to hurt you." He said in a soothing voice. But it did nothing to calm me.

"Stay away." I whispered again. I knew I looked horrible- messy hair, bags under my eyes, pale. But honestly, I didn't care. I wanted to hide under my covers on this bed for the rest of my life, to escape reality and all that it came with and to never. ever remember the night, never to relive it. To avoid it all. Live in my own worls, maybe. Anything was better than to continue living the nightmare.

William sighed heavily, casting a sad glance in my direction, then walkedslowly out of the room, tall figure framed in the doorway where he stopped and stared at me for a few moments, then walked out, I shivered.

A few moments later the tall, curvy figure of Kaitlin walked into the room.

"Autumn!" She called. I flinched.

"What?"

"Why are'nt you talking to William?" She asked. She looked tired as well, bags under her eyes, her brown eyes dull and listless.

"He'll...he'll hurt me." I whimpered.

"He's William. He will not." She was trying to be calm and nice but I was shivering and freaking out and she was exhausted. So, Kaitlin was getting frustrated.

"How do you know?" I shot back weakly.

"How do you know he will?" She retorted. I didn't reply, and the silence grew, a buzzing, loud silence.

"I don't." I finally answered. "But I don't want him here." With that, I pulled up the blankets over my head, hiding myself from the world again.

Days passed. A little over a week. I hardly ate, I drank little, and I avoided everyone as much as possible. Why trust them? Anyone could try anything. Especially William? Why trust him? Love makes people take advantage of others. I couldn't trust him. He tried all the time to talk to me. But I wouldn't let him. He couldn't make it stop, anyway. He could only worsen it and I didn't want it worse. I was plagued by the nightmares, going numb so I wouldn't have to feel the constant terror, pain and embarassment. Why wouild anyone want that? I just wanted to be...gone. A social ghost. Hidden away.

Nine days after...it...happened, I was laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling nothing. Except the constant throb in my head, a reminder, the pain and terror would never fully go away. Just like in my heart, I was damaged. A soft knock on my door made me jump in terror and yank the covers up higher. William stepped in, calling out, "Hey!". He looked horrible, honestly, his hair sticking out all over the place, his eyes bloodshot and red, his face pale and drawn. I felt a small spark of...something... but then it was gone.

"Autumn." He said softly.

"What?" I answered, a squeak.

"Please, talk to me. Let me sit and talk to you." He said, his eyes as golden as honey, clear and pretty and...I couldn't tell him no.

"...okay." I whispered, and he walked towards the bed, making as if to sit down, but I jumped back, moved over and subconsciously hid even farther under my protection, my blankets, and William, hurt flashing in those gorgeous eyes, backed away without a word, sitting on my windowsill and staring at me. I wouldn't even look at him, my eyes were trained on the ceiling.

The silence took over again. Filling the room, a buzzing silence. It made my skin prickle uncomfortably.

"What is it?" I finally asked.

"You have to trust me, Autumn." He blurted out. I didn't reply. William let out a uneven, shaky breath and ran trambling hands through his hair. "Autumn, please, talk to me. Tell me what happened. Tell me, talk to me, don't be afraid of me! Please. I...you...it...You can't. Please stop. It's killing me."

I stared at the ceiling. It was white, with bumps and patterns, making all kinds of interesting images.

"Autumn..." William was desperately trying to get my attention.

I was still staring at the ceiling. I heard him. I didn't want to say anything though. I wouldn't.

"Autumn..." His voice had an odd edge to it. I still said nothing.

"Autumn, please, stop this bullshit."

I didn't answer.

"Listen to me." His voice was firm.

I found the pattern of a rabbit in the ceiling bumps.

"Autumn... listen." He repeated, his voice carrying an edge as sharp as an arrow. It...was different.

The bumps were making a picture now, a rabbit in a field...the sun shining...

"AUTUMN! LISTEN TO ME GOD DAMN IT!" William screamed suddenly, causing me to scream in terror and jump away, falling off the bed with my blanket in my arms, staring at William with wide eyes.

"I'm...sorry." William whispered, shock radiating from him. Shock and sorrow and guilt. But I said nothing, remained neutral. "Autumn, I'm honestly sorry, I am."

"Go away." I hissed. "Go away.."

--End--

It sucked, it was short. I know. Expect more soon. It's 3:20am though so goodnight, I'm going to bed, I'm falling asleep typing this, that's why it's so short.

'Kay so HI GUYS!

Guess what I did Friday after school?
I went with my bestie Malachi to get my lip pierced! He was getting his eyebrow done, too.
See, my two besties are Kaitlin and Malachi so yeah. I wish Kaitlin coulda came too, that woulda been the coolestestest thing everr.

But anyways.

I took my lipring out a while back. It was pierced on the right. And earlier this week I had this bright idea for Malachi to come over to my house and stab a sewing needle through my lip and put my old lipring in it. Ofcourse I'd clean everything and stuff. So I asked Malachi to come over and he loved the idea(he's a freak) and all BUT his mom said no. D= So I was sad. THEN Malachi and his mom offered to pay for me to get my lip pierced. I kept refusing, it was a long battle. Malachi won in the end- I was gonna get my lip pierced and they were gonna bring me and pay for it on Friday. Then Malachi convinced his mom to let him get his eyebrow pierced and she agreed.

 

Soo Friday.
Afterschool they pick me up, we go to Skin Tones, a place near here. The lady who does the piercings, Nick, is amazing. She's got I think 15 years of experience? Maybe more, idk. And she did my lip piercing the first time too.
So we went in and Malachi said I'd go first and we gave her my school ID and my birth certificate and the signed note from  my mom...and...
She said my mom had to be there.
THEN Malachi didn't have his birth certificate or military ID.
SOOO I called my mom and told her to meet us there and we left to go get Malachi's ID card.
We got back and Malachi went to get his piercing first...but she had no sixteen-gauge needles. So we had to go to the next gauge bigger, 14-gauge. Malachi agreed to use that and get a 14-gauge ring too. Sooo,
We go in the room and I'm snapping pics and Malachi is sooo freakin' nervous, it was a bit amusing.

Nick clamped Malachi's eyebrow and Malachi flinched and Nick said, "Don't worry, the clamp is honestly the worst part of it." And Malachi went "mmhmm"
Then she took the huge needle and went STAB and stabbed it through and Malachi didn't even flinch.
I asked "Do you even feel anything?"
And he said "I feel something."
And then Nick put the ring in and Malachi was like "Heh, that didn't even hurt much."
Then I took more pics.

 

Then I walked outside to call my mom but saw her car parked so I went to go get her to hurryyyy.
And Malachi walked out and we walked across the parking lot to the car with my mom and then she walked back with us.
And Nick was like "Ohhh I definitely remember who you are now!" To me 'cause she'd said before that I was vaguely familiar. (I got my lipring in August '07 so of course syhe wouldn't remember me completely or immediately.)

And she asks about going to a 14-gauge piercing and I was super hesitant.
And Nick said, "Well how about I pierce it with a 14-gauge needle but use a 16-gauge hoop?"
I asked, "Will it make a difference?"
And she said, "Nope, not really. It might just bleed a bit though."
Soo I shrugged and said, "Yep okay. It works."

So we went back to the room and I sat down and she got everything sterilized and ghot the Baroclave or whatever it is.
And I grabbed my mom's hand and she put the dot and I agreed that's where I wanted the piercing.
And then Nick clamed my lip and I closed my eyes. Then I felt this quick sting and something inside my lip and opened my eyes. There was a HUUUGE needle in my lip.

Me, being the smartass I was, laughed and said, "There's a needle through my lip...it kinda hurts." And I laughed more. It hurt because I was laughing but it didn't hurt bad, just a low stinging feeling. Everyone(Malachi, my mom, his mom, and his dad and Nick) allll laughed.

Then Nick put my hoop in and took the needle out and I felt it start bleeding a bit...then she couldn't get the ball in the hoop, dropped the bal land went and got another. Then she got that one in and me and Malachi got some pics of both of our piercings.

Freakin' rad Friday, don't you guys agree?

 

xoxo--Autumn
(Pics will be up soon. As will an update on the story!)

Note;; I have a boyfriend now, as my picture shows. His name's Gabriel (Gabi...pronounced Gabey).
And he's amazing.

It tore up me and Malachi's relationship as friends for a while but we're okay now.

I'm graduating 8th grade sooooon! <33

Sorry for so long without updates. Been busy.


Another week passed. Everything was slowly but surely getting okay.
A month and a week 1/2.
So much happened. Happens.
Everything is just insane here.

I'd been tense and jumpy the past few days, expecting just something bad to happen, but I was finally relaxing and the paranoia was going away...
it was a nice, warm night the night it happened...I opened my window, turned on a lamp and curled up on my bed to read. Everyone was in their rooms sleeping. William had left that morning for a week for some business with the band...it was going to be a long week.

Before long, my eyelids grew heavy and I dozed off...

...Sleep was nice, it was hard to get good sleep for me, insomnia is a bitch...

...but shuffling. Weird shuffling. Moving and a thunk...a thunk? It made me sit up in bed, looking around. A bulky shape in the room, blotting out the moonlight from the window, made my eyes grow huge and a scream build in my throat.

A large hand camped firmly over my mouth, and suddenly a man was behind me.
And immediately...I knew.

"One word and I'll kill you, dearest. You know I can." He hissed. I nodded the best I could, whimpering like a lost puppy. The man jumped over, pushing me onto the bed. No, no. I thought. He's not...he's not going to...

But as I felt my thin night-shirt being ripped from my body, I knew.  He pulled down my shorts, tore off my bra...my underwear. I shuddered, disgusted.

"No..." I whispered.

"Oh yes. And you make any noise, you die, you pregnant whore." He spat. His breath smelled like weed and it was making me nauseous.

I bit back a scream as he forced himself inside of me, and I whimpered. He clamped his large hand over my mouth to keep me from making noise. I didn't dare struggle...I just laid there, letting him do whatever, trying to ignore the pain...

The pain he was being rough it hurt he was trying to hurt me to scar me to do anything possible because of what happened and it was working he was hurting me and it hurt so bad and I just wanted the pain to go away I couldn't move I couldn't scream I couldn't do anything but feel it and let the tears leak out of my eyes and pray, and pray in my mind Please God, please make it stop, please.
But it wouldn't stop it seemed like forever and God it was hurting me why did it have to happen why did he hurt me? What did I do I didn't do anything to him he hurt me why do I have to be punished...just why...
WHY?

It was over after an eternity. He finished and he moved and he slapped me.

"You dirty fucking whore." He chuckled. "You tell anyone about this, I will find you and it will happen again. But you won't come out of it alive."

And he was gone, I heard him climb out the window but I didn't look, I didn't move and it hurt. I felt like a child and I just felt so...dead. Or I wanted to be dead.

I laid awake for the rest of the night, waiting for morning to come and praying for someone to come check on me or something. I could care less that I was terrified, naked and I looked horrible. I didn't care that my face was bruised from his hold, my stomach was bruised because he was rough, or that there semen on the bed from him being there. I had tear stains on my face and red eyes and I wanted someone to find me and to get me out of the nightmare. I just wanted it to end...

Hours and hours, it seemed like eternities. They passed and Sheree, Sarah and Kaitlin entered my room. It was noon or something I think.

They all looked shocked and saw my face probably, saw the look of anguish on my bruised, tearstained face.

The three rushed over, asking what was wrong, what had happened, who did that to me.

"He hurt me." Was all I said.

"Who?!" Sheree cried.

"He did."

"WHO IS HE?!" Sarah yelled in frustration.

I  just shook my head as more tears fell from my eyes.

"I'm calling an ambulance." Kaitlin said.

And they helped me out of bed, helped me get cleaned up and helped me get dressed in a T-shirt and sweatpants and...I felt helpless. I felt disgusting. I didn't feel human.

The ambulance came and they took me to the hospital. I was questioned and tested and everything.

I was bruised badly,
the baby was fine,
I was mentally scarred,
things like that.

I was allowed home. Kaitlin was told that I needed counseling. So now I had to find a counselor. When we got home,

"I called William." Sisky said. "He'll be back tomorrow afternoon."

William.
Why was I not excited?
Scared.

"Are you feeling better?" Sarah asked gently. I shook my head.

"Go get some sleep..." Pete said softly. I nodded weakly. "Will you be able to?" He asked. I nodded again.

"I'm sorry this happened, Autumn." Sheree said.

"This shouldn't have." Kaitlin muttered. "When I find out who did it..." She clenched her fists angrily.

"He'll kill me. Don't." I hissed, then turned to my room and slammed the door.

-End-

I saw my boys, you guys!

CHECK MY PICS!

Openers-
Phantom Planet
The Hush Sound
Motion City Soundtrack

Headliners-
PANIC AT THE DISCO!


It was amazing.


We left at 10:20am, got to the venue about noon.


Alli and her friend Sarah were there, I was in line right behind them.



Panic's Honda Civic is a pretty car, but seriously, I'd never ever drive it. (It was right there so yeah, lol.)
And Tayler and Sarah were there too.


Nicole, Megan and Shelby arrived not long later...and we went to look at the bus.


And ended up staying there for a while.


Oh and Nicole gave me GUMMY WORMS! XDDD
And I gave those to Alli but didn't se her after the show so I don't have them. XD


Then I realised I'd left my water bottle in the car.


THEN I realised my money had been lost.



So I was like "Daaaamniitttttt."

&&Nicole like bought me a drink (thank God for her. I would have gone insane of dehydration. It was hot out.)
Then she gave me $20.

(Nicole, you are the most amazing person ever. Thank you soooooooo much. I'm so paying you back.)


And we just kinda messed around, going back to our line spot, then to the bus and back and forth.

THEN
Sarah and Alli were making fun of someone but I wasn't paying attention. And me and Nicole were walking and talking...and we go back to Alli and Sarah, who tell us Brendon has been walking behind us.


BRENDON URIE.


I was like "...O_O" And brendon was like not far from us still and I almost- but not completely- started crying.


Couldn't help it, it was Brendon fucking Urie.


He never walked back up though.


He waved though, to us.




So I went and walked back over to the bus.


And there were these irritating as fuck teenies there.


They were begging security to be let backstage. They were like "Your hair is cool." "Thanks!" "CAN WE GO BACKSTAGE?!?!?!" "...No.

"
And like they saw the bus and screamed "OHMYGOOOOD! BRENDON URIE HAS SAT IN THAT BUS!!!!!!!"
And then they saw Spence and JWalk down the street, and I was walking away and heard this girl scream like she was being attacked by a rabid elephant or something.


Because Spencer and Jon were walking down the fucking street. That's the STUPIDEST thing to scream for. Dumb freaking teenies. So I walked over there, and they were standing over this place looking out to where a lot of band guys were walking and equipment was.




And I'm just randomly pacing back and forth by then...to my spot in the line, to the tourbus and back and forth.


And at one point I see Justin from Motion City Sonudtrack crossing the street.


So I say "Hey Justin!" And he's like "Heyy!" So I ask for a pic and he's like "Yeah, sure!" And he was in a good mood, he's a cool guy.



And I told him "My friend Nathan thinks you're like the coolest guy ever. He's not here so I'm just saying." And Justin said "Okay, cool."
Then the teenies begin to freak over Justin.


And I want to shoot them.


And they called their mom old because she was 32.

And when they said that, Justin was like
"...I'm gonna go now." And walked away.


And I showed Nicole my pic and she was gonna ask Justin for another pic(She'd gotten one earlier that day) but he'd walked away already.




And I continue pacing. lol.


Then I stop and talk to those irritating teenies, over by that area where band dudes were walking, and equipment was being unloaded.


And Brendon walks by down there.


So I say "Hey Brendon!" And I'm smiling like an idiot. And he waves and says "Hey!" All happy like Brendon always is.


And then the teenies- "OHMYGOD BRENDON!" "WE LOVE YOUUUUU!!!!!" "HAVE OUR BABIES!"
And Brendon kinda waves and walks on.


And me and Nicole are like "...ugh...-facepalm-"
So I start telling the girls "DUDES.

THIS is why Panic avoids fans, you need to-"
And Nicole says "Isn't that Ryan?"
So I turn around, and like I swear I stop breathing.

XD
All of Panic, and their Bodyguard(Shane I think) are walking by.


And we walk forward as much as we can, but their bodyguard dude is like "I need you guys to back up..."
And I took my only chance and just yelled "Ryan Ross, you are my hero!"
But he didn't hear...I don't think.


And by then I'm crying. I didn't MEAN to start crying...I just did. 'Cause he's my hero, and I adore him. It was overwhelming, man. Took a bit for me to calm down, too.


And Sarah(Alli's friend) walks up then and is like "Why are you crying?" And we explain, and we go into Stubbs and downstairs into the smaller area to go to the bathroom so I can calm down.


By then I'm having an asthma attack.




And we stayed down there for a while.


We noticed the 'Jack lives here' sign, which made me, Megan and Nicole die of laughter.

XD
And then we went to sit on the steps, my asthma was acting up.


So I'm taking my inhaler and we're all talking, and the door open and Ryan Ross walks by...but he was an entire room away. But my heart stopped again, lmao. I'm a stubborn, hopeful idiot. I thought I might get a chance to meet him.


But then some girl walks by in a blue dress with curly hair...
and Nicole was like "Was that Greta?"
And I said "Where?"
"Who walked into the bathroom. She was wearing a blue dress and flip flops and had curly hair.."
"Oh! It probably was!"
And she walked out and I saw her face and I said "It is!"
And me and Nicole were like "Greta!" And she turned around and we got pics and stuff.
'Cause Greta(from the Hush Sound) is rad.



And me, stating the obvious as I always do, said "You're so pretty."

And she was like "Aww, thank you! Every one of you are beautiful young girls."
She's so sweet.




We stay down there for a little while more, then walk back upstairs. I get some water.


We go back to the line but it's sooooo hottt outttt so me and Nicole go back downstairs for a few mins, then Megan wants us to go back up so we do, and sit in some shade.


And Katy and Annie are texting me, they left at like 5 to come so I couldn't save their line spots.


And people were getting pics with Panic's Honda Civic, so me and Nicole did. One pic with her camera, one with mine, and one that goes on the HCT site! It was cool.




And like then we notice the 'Northern Downpour' line has like 80 kids in it. When there's only s'posed to be like 30.


And like everybody goes all crazy and tells, obviously.

xD
And alllll those kids get sent to the back of the regular line.


HAHAH BITCHES! lmao.


Then the meet and greet for Northern Downpour and stuff ends and they let ND Early Entry in.


Then we get to go in.


And they're like "Don't run!"
So I'm hurrying and I said "I'm walking...fast.

"
And the dude says "No walking fast!"
And I was like "That's wrong, man!"
But we get there, only a few people from the barricade.


And we start making friends, hahah, as usual. There were some cool girls there.


And we texted to the big screen and stuff.


Hahah Katy and Annie andf Mikayla and their texts.


and OMG TAYLER AND SARAH'S TEXTS!
Hahahaaa, they were hilarious.


Sarah- 'Brendon loves Ryan!'
Tayler- 'Ryden owns!'
Bahahahaaa.


It was messed up, but hilarious.



And like then Phantom Planet came on.


They know how to put on a show!
They're catchy and fun, and they interact with the crowd sooo much.


They kept cracking jokes and stuff.


And the singer is like adorable.


And they asked for a number between one and 100, and a bunch of people said "69!"
And he was like "Hmmm.

69? I wonder what significance lies behind that number?"
And like he chose a side that agreed the most and crowd surfed allll the way, after the last song of the set. Well, almost all the way. Not our side, though, how depressing.

xDD
Then Panic, well, Ryan and Brendon decided to run across the stage.


And Bren hid behind his vest.

XDD
The crowd went insane and people were being pushed up against me. I felt violated.


(Nicole I'm still sorry for being shoved against your boobs. THAT WAS WEIRD. Stupid crowd!) lmao.



Then The Hush Sound started and it got a lot calmer.


They're real catchy and cool, but the set was a tad boring.


Not much interaction, you know?
But it was still real nice.

=]
Not much to say about them.


The crowd seemed to love them.


I know I did.


Even if a 6-foot-something guy and a 5-foot-10 ish girl were in front of me.

XDD
STUPID TALL PEOPLE!
Hahah.



Then it was wild again, before Motion City Soundtrack. We got shoved so much. I was feeling like crap, but not really caring. I was gonna stay up there at all costs.




Some random blonde guy ended up partially pressed against me from behind. That was a WTF kind of thing.


But,
I made my way like 3 people from barricade....well, 2 1/2. lmao. I was stuck in between someone and someone else...it was just a weird position.




Then Motion City Soundtrack started.


It was a fun set!
They are really interactive with the crowd, a lot of fun, amazing music...
They're just awesome.


During the last song of the set, I started feeling bad.


I mean, I'd already felt bad- way too hot, dizzy, etc. But that was normal.


But it got worse and I was really tired.

XDD
WHO gets tired in the middle of a crowd?
Then like...next thing I know they're like ENDING the song, and I know a song isn't like twenty seconds long. I was like "Holy shit dude, I just blacked out.

"
And as soon as MCS were offstage I got the people in front of me to get me some water somehow. So they asked Security...and he grabbed the first water bottle he could get his hands on.


...Which was Justin, from motion City Soundtrack's, water bottle...half-drank.


But I didn't give a shit, I downed it in like 5 seconds.


And I felt better for a second...but not long.


I felt weird again, so I had to ask to get out. I had no choice.


so the security guy was like,
"Okay, when I count to three, you jump.

"
"BUT I'M IN A SKIRT!"
"I'll grab your shirt, then.

"
"BUT MY SHIRT WILL RIP!"
"I'll grab both then!"
"BUT-"
"Just jump when I say. I doubt the crowd will mind.

"
"HEY. Ugh. Okay.

"
And he grabbed my shirt and skirt and I jumped and he pulled me but like he couldn't get me out.

And my skirt was coming up!
But after a second he managed to pull me out and set me down, and I was like "Thank you so much." And he said "No problem, you're welcome. Hope you're okay.

"
And I was really dizzy and stumbly for a second, but I was okay. I made my way out of the crowd and around.


Then some blonde lady looked at me and said "YOU LOOK FAMILIAR!"
"...Okay.

"
"Are you someone named Ah...uh...Em...no...uh, Emily Farrise?"
"No.

"
And I walked away, that was too creepy.




Then like we found our way around and to a good place, like I found Nicole and Megan and Shelby and we all had a good place in the middle of the crowd. Not many people, and you could see well.




Then Panic came on and I was so fucking happy.


That show was the best ever.


Close to tears during Camisado...that song is just...wow.


The entire show was just wow.


Like I can't describe it.


But it was the best show that I've been to yet.


Well, okay, actually, I'll be fair and say it's tied to the SWG show.


They interacted with the crowd.


They all talked- even JWalk and Spence.


Bren cracked jokes.


It was better than I thought it would be!
I love how they redid the older songs.

Impressive!
Like at one point, Brendon was like "So, where's everyone going after the show tonight?"
I decided to be a smartass and yelled "Back to the bus with you!"
Bahaha I'm retarded.


But for real it was mother fucking amazing.


I wanna go again, I wanna see my boys again...really bad! Hahah.


I was sad they didn't play 'She Had the World'.


But they played everything else I love, so I don't care.




It was the best night ever.


I was sore today, more than usual actually, but it was worth it!
On my right side there's a bruise from my ribs to my hip. And my left foot is bruiseddd. Both shoulders are in pain...hahah I'm allll beat up. Also a bit sunburnt.


WORTH IT!

I'll be randomly adding more as I remember.




Some random stuff;
Some lady was in STILETTOS in the pit, idiot.


Brendon like...sniffing(?) Ryan.


Brendon going completely and utterly insane. He's the coolest drunk ever.


How happy I made Sheree by calling her during Panic's set.


Having friends there with me.




xoxo--Autumn

Note;; Been a while. Sorry, been dealing with stuff.
Uhmm sorry though for reals, guys.

I have PATD concert in FIVE MOTHAFUCKING DAYS! (Not counting today).
How happy am I?
Beyond fucking happy.

Everything is not okay right now. Shit's happening and not much is going right. But that will only last a while, eventually everything will go okay again.

I embarassed the hell out of myself last night.
I knew he didn't but I hoped he did.
And he said he didn't in the "nice" way.
Wonderful.

To the story now.


A quiet week and a half passed after Shaant beat up William. That mean we had been in the house for a bit over month. It seemed so much longer than that, it really did, with all of this happening.

Nothing much had happened. William and I were close. Pete hadn't returned. Sheree and Ryan acted like a married couple. Gabe and Victoria constantly fucked each other. Kaitlin and Sisky were cute together. Shaant hadn't came back...yet.

It was a Saturday evening and everyone was sick of fast food, or random microwave oven foods, and ramen and stuff. So I volunteered to cook. Crisp fried chicken, mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese and peas. ...I'm country, I'm supposed to cook country food! Hahah. But oh well, it is good.

As I was cooknig, William walked up beihnd me shirtless, which was highly distracting.

"Beckett, go put a shirt on."

"Do I have to?" he asked.

"Yes. You're distracting me. Do you want burnt chicken breast?"

William started laughing. "Burnt boobs."

"My Gosh, immature freak." I growled, rolling my eyes but smiling. William shrugged and went to go put a shirt on, and I went back to cooking without any distractions.

"Heyy this smells good!" Sisky commented as he and Kaitlin and Sarah walked inside. It was really warm today, so they had been swimming. So Sarah had a towel wrapped around her over her bathing suit, and Kaitlin and Sisky were 'fighting' over one towel. Freaks.

"It'll be done soon. Be grateful, bitches!" I yelled, faking anger.

"Who's a bitch? Vicky-T?" Gabe asked from where he'd been sitting on the couch, watching TV.

"I'm telling her you said that once she gets back." I muttered.

"Where'd she go, again? I forget." Gabe said. I rolled my eyes.

"Victoria, Sheree and Ryan all went to pick up some stuff. We're low on dog food for Hemmy and Amethie...I'm going to kill Pete for leaving his dog here..., we need more drinks, you know, soda, koolaid, Red Bull...stuff like that, and some of us need personal stuff, like deodorant and acne cleaner and-"

"PADS!" Sisky yelled obnoxiously. Kaitlin and Sarah both whacked him on the head.

"Control freak?" William laughed, walking back into the room with a shirt on. Which didn't help, him and those mother fucking V-Necks.

"I am not. I just...need organisation. Somehow. We're all bleh and insane and stuff!" I rolled my eyes and made rapid hand motions to emphasize what I was saying. Hand motions were a bad habit of mine.

"Good point." Sarah said.

"Okay food's done!" I called, just as Sheree, Ryan and Victoria walked through the door.

"Nice timing!" Gabe said with a grin and a nod.

"Food's done, come eat. I aint making y'all's plates, lazy fucks." I grumbled, filling my own plate with macaroni and chicken and mashed potatoes and peas.

Suddenly, it was like a feeding frenzy, everyone jumping and dodging and hogging the food.

"HEY! Don't throw mashed potatoes at me!" I yelled as Gabe flung mashed potatoes at me.

"Stop eating my chicken boobs, Sisky!"

"But I like eating your boobs, Kaitlin!"

"SISKY!"

"OW!"

"Stop raping my bestie, Sisky!"

"It's not rape if it's willing, Autumn."

"Good point..."

Then everyone had full plates and just sat on the counters, or leaning against them or even on the floor eating. It honestly felt like a family thing, which was really kind of odd...but nice. It was nice have all three of your best friends, the man you like, your friends lovers and your lover's friends just...getting along nicely.

Well, until the door swung open and there stood Pete. He looked horrible.

His eyes had horrendously dark circles under them, his hair was frizzy and unstraightened, his clothes rumpled and he just looked so bad...it made me feel horrible. He'd had a rough week, I could tell.

"I'm sorry Sarah." He mumbled. Sarah was staring, a mix of anger, uncertainty, and joy in her eyes.

"Scared of Sarah?" I asked. "Of loving her, I mean."

"Pretty much."

"I knew it! What'd I tell you, Sarah?"

Sarah didn't hear. "Are you just here to get Hemmy? Gonna leave again?" Her voice was cutting, but shaky and uncertain.

"No, I'm staying." Pete grumbled and threw his bags onto the couch. "Any leftover food?"

I shrugged. "Help yourself."

Maybe now everything was working out, you know?

"Woah, woah. Sarah, woah. You're just gonna let him come back just because he said 'sorry'? After what he did to you?" Sheree was incredulous.

"Yeah..." Sarah answered.

"Why? He hurt you."

"So? So did Ryan, physically and mentally! And you're still with him!" Ryan visibly flinched when Sarah said that.

"He meant it, and you could tell." Sheree hissed.

"So does Pete! You're not able to see him the way I do, he means it!"

"Whatever, you're just desperate for him to come back to you."

"Are you calling me desperate, Sheree?"

"That's what I said!"

"Hey, girls, hey!" William yelled.

"What the-" I started, but shook my head.

"Don't go fighting in here. Pete's back, be happy for Sarah. There. Now drop it." Kaitlin rolled her eyes and Sisky laughed.

We then filled Pete in on everything that had happened since he left. And Pete was a bit surprised.

"I wonder...William, do you think Shaant will stay away?"

"No." William answered me.

"How long, d'you think?" I asked.

"Knowing Shaant, within the next week or two. He's really good at revenge, by the way."

"Wonderful. He's gonna murder us all." I murmured.

"He won't." William laughed, pulling me clsoe to him.

"We're the weirdest family ever." I said suddenly, earning me some odd looks. "It's true!" I insisted. "Think about it. We're all close, besties, lovers...we're like this weird, twisted, dysfunctional family. We got everything- the whore-" I pointed at Gabe, who stuck his tongue out at me, "The twins-" I pointed at Sheree and Sarah, "The mental one," I pointed at Pete, who guffawed, "The pregnant one," I pointed at myself, "The psychopath ex, Shaant," I pointed towards the door since Shaant obviously wasn't there, "The feminine boys," I pointed at Sisky and William. "We got everything."

--End--

It'll get better.

Note;; Sooo I have horrid self restraint and listened to Pretty. Odd. Then I got it off sendspace and oh my GOSH it's AMAZING. These boys never fail to amaze me...I love it. And Ryan and Brendon's voices together, Gawd...it's like wow.

I've had 2 months to do my science fair project and I just started early this week. It's due next Monday. >.<

Mmm...little past 1 am, I just remembered to postt.

 

Now think about it- Shaant is this big guy, roughly the same size as William, but stronger, more muscles, broader shoulders. William is till and slim, strong but not /strong/. Shaant's punch connected with William's jaw and threw him sideways, and as William was recovering from the blow, Shaant punched him again in the stomach. William crumpled to his kneez, and Shaant kicked him in the area where it hurts. William fell to the ground completely, and was kicked mercilessly in his side...and his eyes rolled back in his head.

I stood, dazed momentarily. But as I saw William fall to the ground, I screamed, "William!" And bolted over, stumbling past Shaant and falling to my knees next to the collapsed William.

"Get him out of here." I hissed, nudging my head towards Shaant. "Just go the fuck away Shaant! Go away! You're an ass! Burn in Hell!" I was overwhelmed, and happy when I heard Shaant's footsteps retreating down the hall.

"William, wake up." I said urgently. "Come on...wake up..." I shook him lightly. A deep purple bruise spread across his jaw and cheek, it made me wince. I lifted his shirt the best I could, and his side where he'd been punched had a greenish bruise...so I guessed mainly he was bruised, and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Will he be okay?" Sarah asked, eyes huge.

"I don't know. Call the fucking cops on Shaant." I growled.

"Seriously?" Kaitlin said.

"Yes! NOW!" I was panicking. Shaant was fucking dangerous.

By now, everyone in the house was gathering. Vicky-T and Gabe, who'd been doing God-knows-what, God-knows-where all day, Sheree and Ryan, Sarah, Sisky...except Kaitlin, who was calling the cops, and Shaant, who was somewhere.

"Shaant punched him out." I heard myself saying. "He fucking punched him out."

It didn't take long for the cops to arrive. They did bring Shaant to jail (I knew Jac would bail him out, but I knew he'd leave the house afterwards so I didn't care, as long as he left.), and as soon as he was gone, I relaxed.

"Uhm...I'm gonna go get like, McDonald's or something." Sisky said. Food, again. Did he ever stop thinknig about food? But that knida broke the disturbedness of everyone. We all helped get the unconscious William to the closest bed- mine- and I sat on the bed next to him. Which I planned to do until he came to.

Which wasn't long afterwards.

"Ow..." He groaned, and I jumped and looked down at him.

"Jaw hurt?" I laughed. William nodded. "What about your stomach?" Nod. "Side?" Nod. "Balls?" Nod. I burst out laughing and he chuckled. Then, all to quickly, we both sobered up.

"I'm sorry." I murmured.

"Why?" William asked...well, croaked.

"It's my fault he punched you..." I grumbled.

"My fault I didn't fight back." William replied.

"Why didn't you fight back?" I asked, glaring at him, butr grinning.

"Because I didn't want to die?" William offered. "Nah he jsut took me off guard and it surprised me." I smiled and moved some of his hair from his face, and William, wincing a bit as he moved, pulled me halfway on top of him.

"Don't be sorry." He mumbled. "Trust me, I'm fine, it's fine. Shaant's even gone, now."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Because you're finally mine." He wrapped his long arms around me and pressed his lips against mine, softly. I smiled against his lips...

"Woah, HELLO. Take it easy!" I pulled back from William abruptly as Sheree yelped in surprise upon finding me kissing William.

"Could have at least warned us!" Ryan was laughing. Sheree rolled her eyes.

"I was just gonna say, y'all's food will get cold soon so come get it."

"We will in just a bit, don't worry." William said, giving the look that meant 'go away'. Sheree and Ryan turned around and left, closing the door, and William pulled me back against him, kissing me again. This time I pulled away laughing.

"What?" William asked.

"Nothing!" I giggled. "You just...you're just...I dunno, it's so funny! Now come on, you're hurting your jaw."

"Aww." William whined. HE WHINED.

"Uhm. No." I laughed, rolling my eyes.

"What if Shaant comes back?" I asked suddenly.

"I'll have to beat his ass."

"And end up in the hospital?"

"...Maybe."

So now I knew it...Shaant wouldn't just leave, right? He's a guy. Guy's don't let that stuff pass.

-End-

Crap. I know. I'm, sorry.

Note;; Okay so Shaant's not gay. Good? I guess. Idk. Idc. xD
But now Bden...hm...who knows. -shrug-
Spring break! I owe Sheree and Sarah 4 posts this week. This is post 1. 3 more to go...maybe more.
It's midnight.
Hm...not much else to post.
Pretty. Odd. comes out soon. My PATD concert is a month away!!! I feel like screaming I'm so excited. xD

When we got to the house, Sheree and Ryan were back, and when I walked in, my face tear-stained and red, they looked over with shock, eyebrows raised.

"What...?" Ryan started, but Sheree put her finger against his lips to shush him. She knew something was wrong.

I walked straight past them, without saying a word, and to my room. I shut the door, the collapsed on my bed, sobbing. Too much, too hormonal. This wasn't right. Of course, not too long later, I heard my door open. I thought it was William at first, honestly.

"Autumn, what happened?" It was Sheree.

"Are you okay?" And Sarah. Damn.

I looked up and smiled weakly, then just shook my head. "No. I'm hurt. I'll live."

"What did he do?" Sarah asked. So she'd left her refuge of sadness to come make sure I was okay. Wow.

"He went off with Jac Vanek and was making out with her at the resaurant we were at and I poured Jac's daquiri and his beer on his head like the drama queen I am." I answered, chuckling a bit.

"Wow. Nice revenge!" Sheree said with a grin. "He so deserved that!"

"Yeah." I answered.

"Torn up over it?" Sarah asked gently, and I nodded.

"I thought there was something. I thought we could work it out or something. But, apparently I'm just stupid? I dunno. Either way it's shitty. Either way, I'll live...he's just a boy, nothing more."

"A boy, not a man?" Sarah asked with a laugh.

"Yep. There ain't enough there to be a man, trust me." I joked. Sheree and Sarah both burst out laughing.

"Oh my gosh you did not just say what I think you did..." Sheree giggled insanely.

"Yesss I did." I said, smirking. Then I turned to Sarah.

"Are you okay?" I asked. She shrugged.

"I heard earlier. Maybe he is afraid of love." She said. "You know? There's something there, and I have no doubt. Everyone sees it. He's just scared. I know Pete, by his journals online and by what I've learned from him the time we've been here. He's scared to be in love and he never knows what to do, he's not cut out for this stuff." She ran her hands throguh her wavy hair, shaking her head. "He'll come back..."

"He will, don't worry. Even if me and William have to go and pull him back here by force." I said, shrugging. "Won't be that hard to do."

"You and William, huh?" Sheree piped up. "So what have you two got going on?"

"Nothing!" I answered, my face going hot. Damnit. "No, really. Nothing." They both gave me the 'don't-bullshit-me' look. So I sighed. "Ugh, fine. I don't know. I seem slutty, don't I? Fucking Shaant while I'm drunk, getting pregnant, and as soon as the guy I've been a fangirl of long before I met him appears, I kiss him and suddenly have feelings for him. Uggghhh." I groaned, shaking my head. "I can't help it, I'm a hormonal pregnant teenager."

"Nah, I see an attraction there with both of you." Sheree said. "It's obvious, it's not just like 'oh he's hot', it seems kinda like 'I like him'."

"Really?" I asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Yup." Sarah answered, and Sheree nodded.

"You guys know what?" I laughed, looking over as Kaitlin walked into the room.

"What?" Kaitlin, Sheree and Sarah all answered.

"This is all way too funny."

"Why?" Kaitlin wondered.

"We've all fangirled, basically. We've all hoped and wished and wondered. And the boys that we have hoped would love us one day, do. It's the weirdest thing. Sheree, when Ryan realised he hurt you, it killed him inside, and when you forgave him you could tell there wa sso much love there. Kaitlin, you and Sisky have been constantly inseperable. Just by how you two talk, you can tell you're in love. Sarah, Pete ran from you, he was so scared of you and loving you. And didn't we hope and talk about this all the time? Who knew it would happen."

"You forgot to mention you and William." Kaitlin added. "He looooves you." She said, grinning evilly. I rolled my eyes.

"The odds of this are so against us, it's not even right." I continued. "The weirdest girls, with the weirdest personalities, with all the imperfections that we always would ebat ourselves up over, all the insecurities that everyone said we shouldn't have. What are the chances? It's so amazing."

"It really is." Sarah said. "Amazing."

"I'm gonna go find Ryan." Sheree said with a smile, disappearing from my room. Hahah.

"We're just awesome like that." Kaitlin said with a shrug. "I knew they'd love us."

"Suuure." I answered sarcastically, and we cracked up. Right then, William walked into the room, eyes wide.

"Uhhh, Shaant's home." He said uneasily.

"So?" I answered, pretending to not give a fuck.

"He wants to talk to you."

"Tell him to go fuck himself."

"I heard that!" Shaant grumbled, stepping up behind William.

"Well, I mean it."

"Why? What did I do?" He actually dared to ask. Sarah and Kaitlin gaped at him. Kaitlin burst out laughing, reeeally hard.

"Oh my God. Did he just actually ask that?" She laughed.

"Yes, he did." I answered.

"That's pathetic..." Sarah scoffed.

"You know what you did." I answered. "Got me pregnant, for starters. Uhm, then you planned to dump me after I started showing. Then you cheated on me with some skinny blonde! So don't play that 'I-don't-know' shit on me." I glared fucking daggers at him. He'd be dead 20 times over if looks could kill.

"Shaant, you should just fuck off, honestly." William said.

And Shaant punched him.

-End-

Another filler. But it started more drama.